Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Some of you may be aware of the beatdown of events that has occurred in my life and career over the past 2 years. Here's a rough outline for those that don't:

The majority of 2007 found me working in Russia and Egypt. Upon returning home from Egypt in late 2007 I very nearly quit the business of acting. Even though I was on my way to becoming a bona fide Russian movie star, I had spent entirely too much time in the company of one of the most insane directors that anyone would ever meet in one of the most spiritually bankrupt countries on earth (Egypt). (To learn more about that experience just take a look further into this blog).

In early 2008 my husband Chris and I were hit by a car while on our motorcycle. Our injuries were significant and led to several surgeries, months of therapy and recovery, huge amounts of debt due to insurance companies being their usual charming selves, me going on disability and my not being able to work for over a year (also in this blog). 

Those events explained, I should also say that being in my line of work is not easy. I love it, but frequently I wanna punch someone in the face because, well...people can be jerks. I've had managers, agents and casting directors tell me to lose 20lbs, gain 20lbs, get botox (or similar) because I'm 'too wrinkly and starting to look old' cut my hair, get extensions, straighten my hair, dye my hair, etc. I've been told to not wear my wedding ring on auditions and meetings, act sexier, dress sexier, get breast implants, get liposuction, don't dress so sexy, act and dress more like a soccer mom, don't smile so much, smile more, wear heels always, never wear heels, don't tell anyone your age, tell everyone your age, don't tell them your married, flirt more, flirt less, get a tan, stay out of the sun, only wear pink, never wear pink, don't do commercials anymore, do more commercials, do this do that blah blah blah blah blah. 

It's enough to make a girl wanna just...stop. 

Today made me glad that I haven't. Today I sat in the office of a very successful manager that years ago I would have only dreamed of working with. When she asked me to come aboard with her company I nearly burst into tears I was so happy/relieved/excited. She didn't mention Botox, she didn't tell me to lose more weight, she didn't criticize my hair, skin, resume, photos, demo reel, voice, clothing or prior representation. She didn't speak down to me, insult me or belittle my past accomplishments. 

She was kind to me. She smiled. We laughed. She complimented my work. She hugged me when we said goodbye. 

After doing a little happy dance and saying goodbye to her equally wonderful assistant and the receptionist, I rode the elevator down to my car, fighting tears of joy and gratitude for the opportunity this woman has chosen to give me. 

After two years of heartache, frustration and countless learning experiences, this moment is the turnaround. 

Thank you God. Thank you Life. And thank you Camilla for giving me a chance.

June 22, 2009

It's been too long Blog People. Way too long.

It's also been a wonderful day, so I thought I would share it with all of you. You know, do a little catching up since it's been so long. Here we go...

8am: A typical morning with Chris, Frank The Cat and Angus. Coffee, laundry, breakfast, etc.

10:00am: Left for a wardrobe fitting for a National SAG commercial I just booked for Region Savings. Traffic was good for once!

10:40am: Arrive at Crossroads Films for my wardrobe fitting. This is not your average production office. Instead of a regular ol' building it's a gorgeous 1920's mansion in the Hollywood Hills. With a private drive. Beautiful landscaping. And a VALET who parked my car. The receptionist/waiting area is in the foyer, near a huge staircase. The ceilings were ornate, the floors gorgeous hardwood. The view was of all of Hollywood. I didn't ever want to leave.

11:20am: Fitting begins. I'm playing a mom, so the clothes are casual. After probably 25 different clothing changes everyone agreed that we had a winner: Blue t-shirt. Khaki capris. Shoes TBD (20 bucks says it'll be Keds for shoes. Godhelpme.).

1:10pm: Say goodbye to everyone and head to Santa Monica for a Dunkin Donuts commercial audition. 

1:30pm: Arrive in SM. Park directly in front of the building (this never happens! parking is always ridiculous). Walk in, sit down and end up making friends with the actress next to me. It's hard to find friendly people at auditions sometimes. Many people don't want to even crack a smile in your direction much less actually be nice. Within minutes Rynn and I were chatting and I soon found out she's a fellow horse-show veteran. A beautiful brunette, Rynn is one of those people who you instantly like and feel comfortable around. She's an east coast girl who grew up showing Appaloosa horses and only moved to LA from NY this past year. Because casting was running behind, we had plenty of time to talk and exchange info. Sometimes horse people can just sense when another horsey type is around :) 

2:30pm: I see a familiar face and realize it's Sandy Martin from the HBO show Big Love (she plays Selma). She's auditioning too, but for a different role and I resist the urge to gush over how much I love the show and how lucky she is to be a part of it.

2:40pm: The audition goes AMAZING. 

2:50pm: I'm headed home, smiling and enjoying the 'holy crap that audition rocked' high.

3:10pm: The traffic gods were on my side. I'm home already!

3:15-8:00pm: Text a bit with my new friend Rynn, head to the gym, do a little gardening and have dinner with Chris. 

8:05pm: Decided to write this blog.

So here I am. Life is good. It's been a long road of recovery post-motorcycle accident. Getting back to work has been challenging. The economy is beating up on the entertainment industry too, and no one is safe it seems. Everything is completely different from a year ago in so many ways.  

But different is good. And it's good to be back.

November 9. 2008

It's been awhile since I've written a blog. Forgive me for my absence. Because of our motorcycle accident last February I've had knee surgery and have been recovering. All is well, I assure you and I am quickly on the mend. The hiatus has been good for me. This has not been an easy year over all, but work is coming in again and I'm excited about what the future brings.

I have been asked quite a lot recently about a Russian film that I did last year called Strangers. At one point I was very excited about this project. That is no longer the case. Now I will simply refer to it as a true life learning experience. In a few days this film will be premiering in Moscow. I will not be in attendance. The reasons for my absence are many.  In fact, none of the American actors will be there even though this is clearly a part of our contracts.

If I may use this blog as a sounding board to all out there who are contemplating doing business in international film I offer you words of caution. Choose your directors carefully.

I chose wisely once on a previous international film. My first Russian director is a wonderful man who I would work for every day if I could. Unfortunately, I chose badly on this second director. Very, very, badly. You see, it is not just about getting paid, or how you are treated on set that matters. It is about how you are treated once your checks have cleared and your performance is finished.

My only hope is that the Russian people appreciate and enjoy my work in this film. I hope my fellow cast members (both Russian and American) are proud of all of their hard work. I hope my wonderful friends and crew members who poured their hearts and souls into this film enjoy the premier and are allowed to share in the glory of the evening.

I for one will rest easily knowing that "He harms himself who does harm to another, and the evil plan is most harmful to the planner."

 May 28, 2008

I am seriously contemplating the death of a cat.

More specifically, the murder of one cat named Edgar.

Moments ago I was awakened from a perfectly lovely nap by a ‘rustle, rustle, thump, thump’ noise. Knowing that it probably involved one of my parent’s 25-gagillion animals I threw a pillow over my head and tried to ignore it. When I could no longer tolerate the racket, I sat up and immediately the source of the noise became clear.

The cat foot sticking under the bedroom door.

Now for those of you who have cats, you are all perfectly aware of this nifty little trick.

For those of you that aren’t ‘lucky’ enough to have a cat, here’s the precious and oh-so-cute thing that they do. We'll call it "The Door Game":

-You are in a room with the door shut because (God forbid) you might actually want something called privacy (in the bathroom), sleep (bedroom), not to be bothered (wherever), judged (when trying on your ‘skinny’ jeans), etc.

-Cat decides that even though they have wanted nothing to do with you all day, they absolutely, positively, 100% must get into the room you’re in.

-Cat peers under door, then proceeds to stick their paw (or sometimes entire front leg) under door and bat away, tug away or thump away at the door, floor or door frame causing various amounts and levels of noise and racket. The later the hour the more noise will be made. *Note. This can and will occur with any age cat including old and ancient cats who rarely move and have zero use for humanity. The ‘door game’ is fun for ALL ages!

-Cat continues until they have annoyed the person on the other side of door enough to come and open the door and let them inside. At which point the cat in question declares ‘game over’ and scampers away in the other direction.

-Human curses cat.

-Cat laughs maniacally.

May 20, 2008

One minute they’re so small. Just little girls.

The next thing you know they’re almost out of high school. Or getting married. Or having little girls of their own.

Over the past few years I’ve received many emails, letters and calls from families of the little girls (and yes, a few little boys) that I used to train, teach and coach when I was a horse trainer.

Tonight was no different.

Tonight I received an email from a former student’s mom. I learned that the little brown haired girl who loved her horse more than anything is all grown up and getting ready for college. And the family is getting ready for a life without horses. It’s impossible to even wrap my brain around the fact that this little girl is grown up. Almost as impossible to believe is they will soon be without horses.

A few weeks ago it was another mom that emailed me with the same thing: The quiet and sweet little girl who was too scared to trot had become an accomplished horse woman. This little girl is also growing up. The horse was for sale. 

Just last week in the mail was the invitation to the high school graduation of 2 twin girls that I’ve known since they were in the 5^th grade. No longer are they young, giggly sisters who loved anything Disney. Now they are almost in college. Careers and lives ahead of them.  

Last year one of ‘my little girls’ had just had a baby. She sent me pictures and we reminisced by email. It’s hard to picture her even being old enough to drive, much less be a mother now. But she is. With a little girl of her own.

It’s hard to let go of these little girls. I want so badly to make them stay young like they are in my memories. In the past I could measure how much they had grown by the length of their stirrups, or by how they could put the bridle on alone for the first time because finally their little arms would reach that high. 

Now the measurement of their growth is in milestones. High School Graduations. College. Careers. Marriages. Babies.

I miss my little girls and my few little boys too. I miss their laughter. Their hugs. Their accomplishments. I miss the pictures they would draw for me, the songs they would sing together, the way they would smile and yes, even the way they would cry. I miss being their teacher, trainer, best friend, worst enemy, surrogate mom, surrogate sister, harshest critic, biggest fan. I miss being their protector, helper, confidant and co-conspirator.  

Thank you to all of my little girls, my little boys, their families and their horses. You made me a better woman because of each of you.

Please visit the 'Horses' link to view past and present pictures of these kids and their horses.

Me and my first horse Brandy. 1986

 Me and my sister's horse Bud. 20 years later.

May 12, 2008

I can't take credit for this although I really want to because it's very cool. I wish I'd thought of it.

Below is a Mother's Day 'card' my brother posted on Myspace yesterday:

"This is my mom. She's the one on the right that isn't Willie Nelson.

She is the greatest mother one could ever ask for. She raised three great kids while at the same time being a wonderful teacher, and later worked to become one of the most successful talent agents in Texas. She's always filled with light, love, happiness, and has the most positive outlook in life that spreads to others in such a wonderful way. Always there for support, and providing inspiration and encouragement in whatever venture that we chose no matter how crazy and ridiculous it was. She's simply amazing.

Happy Mothers Day! I love you Ma'!"

Well said, Patrick. I second it.

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

My recent trip to Moscow was wonderful. The trip home was even more so because of whom I shared it with. On my flight from Moscow to the US were four American families who had adopted four Russian orphans- all under the age of 3.  

Seeing these beautiful children with their new families was inspirational. Hearing these parents tell me of the positive change in their children’s personality after just a few days of being out of the orphanage and with a family brought tears to my eyes. The life, beauty and individuality of each of these children were so apparent to me. Knowing that they would have had little to no future had they remained in the orphanage was heartbreaking to consider.

As I sat listening to these new parents share their stories, their heartaches, their struggles and the current state of despair within the many remote orphanages and the foster system throughout Russia, the realization set in that I am being called to do something very important. What began as two seemingly random bookings on Russian films, a bit of travel to foreign countries, my developing Russian language skills, my newfound notoriety in Russian cinema, and then a chance meeting with a few sweet babies on an airplane has brought me to this knowledge: I am meant to help make a difference in the lives of the orphaned, abandoned, and disabled children of Russia. With my amazing husband Chris’s steadfast and loving support, we’ve decided I should plan a trip back to Russia for the purpose of volunteering.

My goal is to stay for several weeks working with disabled and orphaned children, as well as travel to and provide assistance to several remote orphanages in Russia. In addition to providing hands-on assistance, I plan to also use my connections within the film community to promote positive change within the orphanages and foster system.

Wish me luck.

April 12, 2008. 4:46am.

This 4am nonsense has GOT to stop. Until it does I'll give in and write. The dog is already snoring next to me, my hot tea is nearby and my trusty green and white "woobie" blanket is keeping my legs warm.

It all just sounds very quaint. Throw in a little 220lb dog gas, the ugliest grey hoodie sweatshirt in my closet, and what can only be described as this "half bird's nest -half brillo pad" of a ponytail I'm sporting and it's not so charming anymore.

But enough glamour. Let's get back to all the fun Russia stuff.

Several times in my blogs I refer to my friends named Sasha. For those of you who are curious, Sasha is a very common nickname in Russia. It's actually short for 'Alexander'. Since there are so many Sasha's that I am friends with, I've taken to nicknaming them all. Here's a few examples of my many Sashas and how they got their names...

Sasha-Habibi (2nd Unit Camera Department): Habibi is a term of endearment in Arabic that translates to "Sweetheart" or "Honey". I'm not sure when exactly Sasha and I became 'Habibi' to each other in Egypt, but I believe it started because nearly every single Arabic pop song you hear on the radio has the word 'Habibi' in it about 10,000 times.

Sweet Sasha (my assistant): His nickname speaks for itself. He's just adorable and cute as a bug. The first time I met him he was sitting in front of a computer in his swim trunks. I thought to myself, he can't be more than 16! Well he's older than that and the father of the most adorable baby ever.

Sasha Timberlake aka: Sasha One Minute (Camera Department): He has a head full of curly Justin Timberlake hair so that's where the Timberlake part came from. The 'One Minute' part came from the Egyptian crew members. "One Minute" was their response anytime something was requested of them. "One Minute" was more like "One Hour". There is also a small hand gesture involved. Sasha's impression of this is dead on and very funny.

Sasha-Montana: As our first AD and Line Producer on Montana, Sasha-Montana's nickname also speaks for itself.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get back to Scarlett’s latest Moscow adventure…

On one of my free days in between ADR and press appearances for Montana, I got to spend some time with my friend Sasha-Habibi. He had come to Moscow from his home in Saint Petersburg for pre-production on a film. We spent a really nice evening having coffee and walking through a beautiful park near my hotel. Sasha was one of my dearest friends and protectors in Egypt. He's an excellent example of a true Russian gentleman.

So, with ADR on Strangers done I was able to focus on Montana.

A few days prior to the premier was a screening of the film with Alexander, Michael (the producer), Oleg Taktarov (the star) and the press -followed by a press junket. I had never seen the film in its entirety and was very pleased with all of it. The press junket was an absolute whirlwind. Countless different newspapers, magazines, radio shows and television stations had a thousand questions and a thousand kind things to say about ‘Montana’. Even though I had a translator, at times it was tricky to make sense of some things, and often it was quite funny when something wasn’t translated well.

Because my husband was off on safari in South Africa (literally!) he was unable to join me in Moscow for the premier. Don’t feel too sorry for the two of us though. Chris’ job is pretty amazing. It takes him all over the world and he gets to do some extraordinary things. While in Johannesburg on business he was able to visit an Elephant Sanctuary, pet baby tigers, and an adult leopard who purred louder than you can imagine. Yes, I am VERY jealous!

Anyhow, because Chris wasn’t able to join me for the premier I needed a ‘date’. I’ve found that life is much nicer and easier with a reliable and courteous male escort at my side. Don’t get me wrong, people. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself (just read previous blog postings for proof ;) .  However, I was starting to learn that an escort is a wise thing to have in a foreign country when you aren’t fluent in the language yet and people are beginning to recognize you on the street because of your movies. My first thought was to take Jenya-translator, but I knew Yuri would have him working all evening. Then I realized Dan would be there anyway because he is also in Montana. Perfect. He was happy to be ‘My Bodyguard’ again, so it was arranged that we would attend together.

On the evening of the premier we rode with Alexander and his wife Evgeniya. It was an adventure filled drive, as Moscow has a habit of shutting down the city whenever President Putin decides to leave the Kremlin. And I guess Putin decided that the moment we were crossing through Moscow center would be the perfect time to go out for a ride. At that moment I realized how much Russian I had actually learned when I could understand Alexander’s hysterical ranting at the other ‘crazy, wild drivers’.

Eventually we arrived at the premier and it didn’t take long for the photographers to catch up to us. I no sooner had relinquished my coat to the ‘dereushkahs’ (ladies) at coat check than they descended upon us. The next few hours would prove to be exhilarating, exhausting, crazy and amazing all rolled into one. In addition to ‘my handlers’ from the production company, Dan was a blessing, always staying near me, bringing me water or champagne, translating at times and keeping overly excited admirers and autograph seekers at an arm’s length just with his presence. At one point the photographers saw him with me and decided that he must be my ‘Russian boyfriend’. I only understood some of the exchanges, but Dan, ever the gentleman, corrected the situation (he is also friends with my husband) and we both laughed it off. Only later would I discover that the press decided that they liked the idea of me having an American husband AND a Russian boyfriend. -Especially if the two were friends and they knew about each other. Oy vey. Thank goodness Chris has a sense of humor.

After 8 exhausting hours I was back at the hotel in time to sleep for awhile and get ready for my flight home. Although I missed my husband desperately, saying goodbye to this place I have come to love was difficult. I have made so many wonderful friends here in Moscow. I’ve come to understand and appreciate the Russian people and the culture. My Russian language teacher (who is from Saint Petersburg) says about me, “Вы являетесь Aмериканец. Но Pусский в вашей душе” (You are American, but you are Russian in your soul).  

I think she may be right.

Thursday, April 10, 2008. 4:26am.

It’s 4:26 am and yet again I’m awake. I’ve never had a great sleep schedule, and ever since the accident it’s become even more erratic. I’ve taken to waking up at odd hours of the night, unable to return to sleep. It’s not without its benefits though. Angus always hears me wake up and within minutes is sleepily lumbering into the office. He greets me, grinning and snarfing (that silly sneeze thing that some dogs do), and immediately finds a comfy spot nearby and curls up to sleep. The house is quiet (except for Angus snoring) and the world has that still quality only found in the middle of the night.

This is when I enjoy writing the most.

Tonight I’ve decided to write about my most recent trip to Russia. Because life immediately got crazy right after my return home I never got the chance to catch you all up on my two week trip to Moscow.

Fasten your seatbelts kids. This is a good one.

At the end of January I flew to Moscow for several days of ADR (sound looping) on “Strangers”. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I would have to ADR my ENTIRE role in this film. All of it. Every word, every breathe, every sigh, every laugh, every cry, EVERYTHING. All of it. Evidentially, this is a very common practice in Russian film (I didn’t know this beforehand because we shot Montana using natural sound). Being no stranger to ADR and voice work I wasn’t nervous but I was pretty irritated. There were several scenes that I knew would suffer. No matter how good you are at ADR (yes, I’m not ashamed to say that I’m very good at it ;), nothing is an adequate substitute for the natural sound that is captured when the scene is being shot. For me, our director’s choice to loop this entire film was insanity.

Insanity. There’s an interesting word. Let’s pause and have a look at that word and some of it’s synonyms… 

Synonyms: insanity, lunacy, madness, mania, dementia
These nouns denote conditions of serious mental disability.

Insanity is a grave, often prolonged condition that prevents a person from being held legally responsible for his or her actions: was judged not guilty for reasons of insanity.
Lunacy often denotes derangement relieved intermittently by periods of clear-mindedness: yelled wildly in a moment of utter lunacy.
Madness often stresses the violent aspect of mental illness: a story about obsession and madness.
Mania refers principally to the excited, or manic, phase of bipolar disorder: prescribed drugs to control the patient's periods of mania.
Dementia implies mental deterioration brought on by an organic brain disorder: underwent progressive stages of dementia.

I think that sums several things up nicely. 

But I digress.

So at the end of January, I found myself back in wonderful, beautiful Moscow. My friend and assistant in Egypt, Sasha (I call him ‘Sweet Sasha’) picked me up from the smoke filled (you can smoke everywhere in Russia) and bustling airport ‘Sheremetyvo’. At his side was Mark Adam, my ‘movie husband’. I knew Mark was in Moscow for his ADR, but I didn’t think we would see each other as he was flying out the same day I was flying in.

I didn’t know who to hug first.

After a flurry of hugs, kisses and hellos we sat down for a few minutes to have coffee. Mark caught me up on how his ADR went. Because he’s a pro he finished 2 days earlier than scheduled and was able to spend time exploring Moscow. Because I’m competitive I informed him I would do the same. And I did.

For the next 3 days I spent 6+ hours a day inside a large sound studio at ‘Moscfilm’, Russia’s impressive version of Paramount Pictures. Our long suffering translator Jenya was (of course) there each day, as well as Natasha (Mama Natasha from ‘The Egyptian Experience’). Surprisingly, Yuri was in and out of the booth (mostly out). Therefore, I was able to finish in 3 days instead of 3 months.

While there, I became friends with our sound mixer Alexi. Alexi’s English is excellent and I enjoyed getting to know him and spend time with him. We laughed a lot (like I said, Yuri wasn’t there much) along with Jenya and Natasha.

During this time I was in touch with Alexander Atanesyan, my wonderful director from Montana. Because the Montana premier was just a week away, it was arranged that I would stay in Moscow an additional week in order to participate in press junkets, interviews and attend the premier.

For the next week I took advantage of my time in Russia to reconnect with friends and explore the city. Natasha helped me shop for clothes for the events, and my other beautiful friend Masha (we met in Egypt, she’s married to Igor, our gaffer) and I also spent many hours shopping and having dinner. I was lucky enough to have dinner with Atanysan and his gorgeous wife Evgeniya a few times, and spent a day at Kremlin Square with one of Montana’s producers, Michael, and our translator, an adorable girl named Irena.

While in Moscow I had the pleasure of seeing some of my Russian friends from our time in Egypt. A few of the cast and crew got together one evening to see me during my time in Moscow. I nearly cried when I walked in the door and sitting there were our makeup artists in Egypt, Jenya-Grim and Natasha-Grim (‘grim’ means make-up in Russian). Amongst the group was “bodyguard” Dan -who I thought would crush me with his wonderful hugs-, Artem (one of our soldiers in the film), Yuri-soldier, Ivan-soldier, and eventually Crazy Dima, Yanna and Vera. We spent the evening laughing and talking, reminiscing about our time together in Egypt.

One of my favorite evenings in Russia was seeing my friend Danis Nagretdinov (bodyguard Dan from previous blogs in Egypt) perform Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ in Russian at Yugozapadna Theatre. Masha and I attended a performance and were blown away at his performance as Lysander. Shakespeare is challenging enough, but performing it in Russian is VERY challenging due to iambic pentameter being impossible in Russian. Simply put, Dan is a genius. I have a new found respect for Russian Shakespearean actors, and a true and deep respect for my friend Dan as an actor.

With ADR on Strangers done I was able to focus on getting ready for the Montana Premier….more to come….

February 28th, 2008 

It all started normal enough as we headed down Wilshire Blvd last night on Chris's motorcycle (a freakin' sweet black Honda Interceptor). We had just turned off of La Cienega and were only going about 20mph, when out of the blue a car literally pulled out damn near on top of us. Chris saw her face and said she didn't even look in our direction. We hit the front right corner of her car and were sent flying. Not sure how far we traveled across the pavement or through the air, but we each did a few flips on the pavement, eventually landing near each other. Chris came to rest on his back, me on my hands and knees -which I can only attribute was an instinctual response to my years of practice in getting thrown off of horses (there's a right way and a wrong way to land!). Literally before I came to rest my first thought before anything else was, "We have to get out of the street before we get hit by a car." -and I actually tried to do so. It took about a half a second of me attempting to reach for Chris before my next thought hit, "Whoa. I gotta lie down. NOW." And before I could even move there were people everywhere, good samaritans that had seen the accident and came to our aid. Immediately people were yelling for the police to be called, they helped me lie down, surrounded us both and were assuring us that the other one was alive and okay.

Eventually Chris and I found each others hands and we lay there in the middle of the westbound lane of Wilshire Blvd holding hands, waiting on the ambulance. Countless kind faces of strangers, firemen, paramedics and police officers came into view, soothing voices and touches from people neither of us knew or would probably ever see again, flooded around us. Some were lifting us up in prayer, others gently tucking their phone numbers into our pockets saying they had seen everything and wanted to be a witness, a few just shaken by what they had seen and wanted us to know they cared.

Hours later in the emergency room I would be released with only bruises and abrasions. Chris would learn he needed surgery to repair a broken knee. Aside from a small amount of road rash on his left leg he has not a mark on him.

After waking up this morning with an excrutiating headache and 2 VERY VERY VERY swollen knees I was sent back down to the ER. All x-rays and the MRI is clear. It's just a nasty concussion and nastier soft tissue damage to my knees. My helmet is absolutely trashed, gouged and scraped -no surprise that I have a concussion.

Chris's knee surgery tonight was successful. He is expected to heal fully and with no problems. He is sore, grouchy, tired, and wants to dip Copenhagen but they won't let him....so he keeps going through nictoine patches like candy :)

We have learned the police report is clear that the fault lies with the woman that hit us. She is insured.

The motorcycle appears to be totaled.

Chris and I are lucky people.
Lucky to have each other.
Lucky to be alive.

Throw in an angry Russian with a ponytail and it look just like any other day on the set of 'Strangers'...

www.montanathefilm.ru

(this is best opened with Explorer)

I plan to imbed the video of one of the film's trailers here on the website ASAP. Be sure and pay attention to scary looking guy in the very first scene with the little boy (it's a dark black and white scene). That's my friend Danis Nagretdinov who plays our Arab soldier/bodyguard in 'STRANGERS'! 

More to come soon as I finish translating parts of the site and uploading and transferring video....

New pictures are added into this blog and the link below frequently so please check back often!

For Scarlett's Cairo pictures please visit:

http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t5/scarlett_mcalister/Cairo/

For Mark's website and pictures:

http://homepage.mac.com/markadammusic

Kathleen's Website:

www.kathleengati.com

Special thanks to my dad for reminding me of this one...

As a child, nearly every Thanksgiving was spent at my Grandmother Mama Sue’s house in Conroe, Texas. Each year my parents, brother and sister and I would pile into the minivan and head down to Houston or Conroe to visit with our HUGE extended family for the long Thanksgiving weekend. Every year the crowd would grow larger as more cousins were married and babies were born. One particular Thanksgiving when I was about 11, there were about 35 or 40 people at Mama Sue’s when my dad broke out the ‘Reverend Robert Tilton Farting Tape’ (For those of you who are not familiar with this tape, I have provided you with a video link below).

While my entire rowdy Southern family thought this was possibly the funniest thing they had ever seen, there was one visitor that did not. Evidently one of my mom’s cousins by marriage had brought his elderly mother along…and she was an ardent follower of the teachings of the “farting preacher”. I wish I had a video of her reaction and then my father’s reaction to her. While this elderly woman sat trying to fend off a stroke over what she was seeing on tv, my father could barely contain himself he was laughing so hard.

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Because I am an actress and a member of the Screen Actors Guild many people assume that I automatically support the WGA (Writer’s Guild of America) strike.

Like Switzerland, I will choose to remain neutral and not get into union politics and policies here on my website or in my blog.

However, because many people have asked my opinion, I will go ahead and post links to a few articles that I found very interesting. All that I will offer in the way of an opinion is this: I truly hope that this strike is over soon. I have many, many friends that are a part of this industry (yet are not WGA or SAG) who are now without paychecks and have been for many weeks. If and when the WGA is successful in their bargaining attempts, none of my ‘below the line’ crew member friends will benefit or be able to recoup their losses.

Here is one article from the LA Times that I really liked:

Tom Short, president of IATSE, issued this statement, blasting the collapse of the talks:

LOS ANGELES, Dec. 7 – In the wake of the collapse this afternoon of talks between striking Writers Guild of America and the Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers, IATSE President Thomas C. Short has issued a scathing denunciation of the WGA’s lack of good faith bargaining.

Short, who has been critical of the lack of experience and competence of WGA leadership since late last year, predicted the breakdown of talks, and has repeatedly accused the WGA’s Patric Verrone and David Young of irresponsibility in their pursuit of a new contract with the producers.

Beginning with the cancellation of their own scheduled early negotiations that were to have taken place in January, the WGA has intended, according to Short, that the strike take place and disrupt not only the film and television industries in Los Angeles, but ancillary businesses as well. The halt in production caused by the strike has now spread nationwide and will soon reach beyond the US as several high profile feature films have been cancelled or put on hold until the strike is resolved.

Likening the WGA leadership to “a huge clown car that’s only missing the hats and horns,” Short has been infuriated that among the WGA contract points has been the illegal and unethical poaching of IA members in reality television now covered by IATSE Editors Local 700, and animation writers, members of Local 839, who have been covered by the IA for over 50 years. Said Short, “Even if the AMPTP wanted to give the WGA jurisdiction of animation writers they couldn’t. It’s not theirs to give. Those are IATSE members who have been part of our International for over half a century.”

With over 100 television shows shuttered and numerous features off the schedule, the resulting devastation to members of the IA is growing daily. “I don’t believe the WGA ever intended to bargain in good faith,” said Short. “And they are destroying a lot of lives in the process. As a result of their irresponsible and irrational behavior, the number of IA members who have lost work is fast approaching 40,000 people representing members all over the US and Canada. Unless and until the WGA leadership starts behaving responsibly, which is unlikely, not only wages, health insurance coverage and pension benefits will be lost. Homes and businesses will be lost, too.”

The IATSE is an International Union that represents members employed in the stagecraft, motion picture and television production, and trade shows industries throughout the United States, its Territories, and Canada.

WGA Strike article links:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2007/11/i-was-until-rec.html

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/strike_news/index.html

This one discusses the show ‘South Park’ on Comedy Central:

http://www.grokdotcom.com/2007/12/04/how-viacom-could-have-avoided-the-writers-strike/

December 7, 2007

Not sure how many of you have seen the latest "stalkarazzi" photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bikini. -Taken while she was on vacation celebrating her engagement I might add.

I have seen these pictures and I think she is beautiful.

This blog is being posted today because I am bored to death with the twisted idea that beauty lies within how many ribs you can count on a woman's frame or how concave her stomach is. Sunken cheeks, jutting collarbones and knobby knees are not sexy. These are signs of illness. They are signs of malnourishment that exists within the body, the mind, and most importantly, the spirit of too many women today. 

Below is one of many available links to the ridiculous controversy over Jennifer's physique. Her attitude is amazing and I support her 100%. More of Hollywood should pay attention and learn from this beautiful young woman.

'A size 2 is not fat!'

December 4, 2007

Yes, I know its way past Thanksgiving so this blog is more than overdue. But what prompted my writing is a recent recollection of a few very funny events shared with family and friends. I’m very grateful for these memories and these people. For everything we’ve shared and more. I hope you enjoy…

Friday, November 16th, 2007

Anyone that has known me longer than 10 minutes knows that I have a temper…and a big mouth…and an occasional attitude problem. No shock there, right?

Didn’t think so.

Throughout my life these things have been balanced by other traits that I posses that are far more positive. Occasionally the scales are tipped in one direction or another. Sometimes the temper flares, igniting a flashfire of red-headed fury unto whomever was unwise or unlucky enough to cross me wrongly. More frequently cool headed waters prevail, allowing patience and calm to be the dictator of my actions and reactions.

Some days are better than others.

Just as I believe in a power greater than all of us, a Creator with a plan and a design for everyone, I also believe in the idea of Kharma. Or, more plainly stated, ‘What goes around comes around’.

I think my favorite way of explaining Kharma is with something my Grandmother Mama Sue used to say: “Go ahead. Tease that dog. But when he bites you in the butt don’t come hollerin’ to me.”.

Maybe I’m just trying to stay one step ahead of the dog so I don’t get my butt bitten. I like to think that it’s because I genuinely feel remorseful for not behaving in a more ladylike and professional manner at times over the past few months. Regardless of the reasons, who was involved, why it happened, or the circumstances, I regret that I was anything but professional, forgiving, patient, positive, and kind. I regret that at times I did not rise above the behavior of those around me, but instead chose to participate in unacceptable behavior of my own.

Whether the reasons were valid or not for my negative behavior, whether my behavior could be rationalized as ‘self defense’ or not is beside the point. The only point here is that I am not proud or pleased with the way I responded many times in the past few months. Although private apologies have already been long ago issued to those deserving of one, this is a public apology to all involved and present during my times of negative behavior. This is an apology to my readers, to my friends and family for not choosing to always act in the respectful and loving manner that you know I strive to maintain.

Most importantly, this is an apology to the Universe, to God, and to ‘Kharma’. I was created to rise up above difficulty and to overcome challenges. From now on I will accept this responsibility with more grace and humility than ever before.

Only time will tell what Kharma has in store for me.

Hopefully I made friends with that dog in time.

Thursday, November 8th.

Poor Angus. I think he's gotten used to the fact that his 'parents' are going to be in absentia for awhile. Thank goodness for our neighbor/landlord Steve. Angus loves him to death and I'm not sure what Steve would do without him. They go on walks together, watch tv together, wash the truck together, go to the park together, etc. Having Steve there to care for Angus makes me feel much less guilty. Sort of.

The reason for my big-sad-dog guilt? This morning I arrived in Boston.  Chris has been here at MIT nearly a week already for a training session, and because it's his birthday on the 11th (and because I've been in Egypt for the past 2 months), I decided to come spend the weekend with him. Boston is awesome. This is my first time here and I absolutely love it. I flew out on the red-eye Wednesday night and arrived at dawn on Thursday morning. After arriving at the hotel, there was just enough time to greet my husband, have some coffee and send him off to MIT for another day of training.

And then I had a nap. And it was goooooood.

And then I went shopping. And that was even better.

Chris had thoughtfully purchased me a  "T" pass (train pass) and so off to downtown Boston I went. Because I'll be returning to Moscow in the next few months for ADR on Strangers -just in time for the weather to be waaaay below zero- I need to shop for some VERY warm winter clothes while I'm here in Boston.

Why can't I shop for real winter clothes in California you might ask? Lets face it: I live in LA where you only know it's winter when the "Hollywood Blondes"  begin pairing UGG boots with their mini-skirts and the occasional pashmina if it's below 70. I'm pretty sure the selection will be a little better here in New England.

Just a guess.

After my nap I found my way to the train station and ultimately to Faneuil Hall in downtown Boston. I had to keep reminding myself that I'm not in Egypt anymore. Eye contact is okay. Smiling is okay. A pleasant expression on my face is okay. The first time I found myself walking towards a group of men on the sidewalk my instinct was to immediately cross the street to stay away from them as I would have done in Egypt...

And I smiled back.

Boston is good.

(Shown in this picture is me and Charlie, a 9 year old Percheron gelding who is a carriage horse in downtown Boston. We made instant friends when he found candy in my pocket! :)

Tuesday, 06 November 2007

It's been a week since I returned home to the USA from Egypt. For the first 2 days I literally did nothing except for sleep, get a massage, a manicure and pedicure and sleep some more. Little by little the zombie feeling of jetlag and culture shock is starting to go away as I resume my 'normal' life here in LA.

The suitcases are unpacked, the laundry is done and my dog Angus has forgiven me for abandoning him for so many weeks. Chris did an excellent job of keeping the house in order during my absence, good friends Nadine and Steve took care of my garden, and Jesse successfully managed to keep up with all of my voice mails and messages while I was gone.

I sit here in our comfortable living room, drinking my morning coffee and contemplating the script in my lap. I have a meeting today regarding a Columbia Pictures film and need to focus on this next potential project. Yet my eyes wander to the pictures of my husband, family and friends that adorn these walls. Just outside the window is my yard of beautiful flowers, each unique and lovely just like the people in this photos. I am so blessed for all that surrounds me here. -Not for the material things I have, but for the people that I love and who love me back. I am blessed by the beauty of creation outside, and the beautiful snoring creature at my feet (Angus). I try and refocus to the script again and still my mind wanders to the place I just left. The poverty I witnessed there has impacted me in a way I didn't fully realize until now. Amongst the beauty of the desert, the majesty of the pyramids and the hospitality of the Egyptians I came to know and love, there exists something else.  The sadness in the eyes of many of the children, the desperation in the eyes of the poor, the carnal looks of depravity in the eyes of so many men, and the detached look of numbness in the eyes of many of the women will remain with me forever.

I am changed because of the things I witnessed, both good and bad.

I am blessed to have so many to love and that love me back.

I am blessed and my life is good.

LAX is bustling around me with the usual suspects. Gorgeous, super-thin actress and model types, handsome rockstar wanna-bees, old and partied out musicians, international travelers, students and a few random families.

I walk by the Starbucks I have visited so many times on my trips in and out of this airport.

I am in baggage claim.

I am outside. The air smells faintly of smoke from the recent wildfires. Expensive cars and SUV cruise by looking for their passengers.

And then my husband is there.

And I am home.

As I walked through immigration/passport control a few minutes ago I nearly burst into tears. I am home. I am back in the USA. When the TSA officer smiled at me and said “Welcome home” I teared up. I didn’t cry for once though. But I did want to hug him.

God Bless America.

I am able to walk through the airport and make eye contact with men if I choose. I am able to return the smiles of those who smile at me. I am not stared at, gawked at or followed. I am not a novelty here (okay, to be fair, it was probably the same way in Madrid but I have no idea because I was asleep the whole time). I am able to stop a man and ask for help without worry that I will be questioned inappropriately or harassed. I am smiling again.

Funny story….While I was getting my luggage and heading through customs there several police officers with dogs walking around inspecting luggage. Some had beagles, others German Shepherds. 3 times my backpack was a point of interest for the dogs. The first was an adorable beagle who made a beeline for it, sniffed around it and then promptly sat down in front of it and stared at it licking his lips. I gave him permission to look through my bag, and learned that he was only searching for produce being brought in illegally. Because I had started my journey with fruit and a pb& j sandwich I imagine that it did still smell quite tasty, even though there was no fruit or sandwiches left over. Minutes later another beagle did the same thing, and then a drug dog hit up my bag. My only thought when the German Shepherd zoned in was, “Oh. My. God. I’m going to kill me a Russian if one of the ‘partiers’ slipped hashish into my bag.” Luckily, nothing was found. But I slipped into the ladies room anyway and tore my luggage apart just to make sure ;)

I think it is Sunday. Or maybe Monday. Doesn’t matter because I am in Madrid. It is around 5am. After a very long flight on a very small, scary, old plane from Cairo to Madrid I arrived in Spain. I am no longer in the Middle East.

I am a happy girl.

Upon arrival in Madrid I attempted to find out where my next gate would be.

Thank God I speak some Spanish.

There I stand at the information desk with about 20 other people, including a few Egyptians and a few Russians (no I didn’t know any of them).

Did I mention THANK GOD I SPEAK SOME SPANISH…and also some Russian, and now a little Arabic? Because guess who became a translator at the information desk? Yours truly. There I stood at 4:30 in the morning jumping back and forth from English to Russian to Arabic to Spanish trying to help figure out where mine, the Egyptians and the Russians next gates would be. A few Mexicans even asked for my help because they understood my Spanish better than the Castillian Spanish being spoken at the desk. 

Did I mention that my brain hurts? -A lot.

Because I have a 6 HOUR LAYOVER (insert me banging my head against the computer keyboard here) I went to find the VIP lounge. And when the doors opened at 6am I promptly found a couch and slept.

And I dreamed in ENGLISH.

After waking up and dragging myself to my gate and onto the plane I promptly crashed again. But not before chowing down on some yuuuum-eee Business Class food. 8 hours later I woke up.

In 2 hours I will be on American soil again.

Scarlett is on her way home.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I am still in Cairo. I am supposed to be on a plane home to LA right now. Because of a totally inept, completely incapable and absolutely unprofessional travel agency, a disastrous mistake has been made that has left me literally stranded in Cairo.

9pm last night:

October 25

We had planned to go to the Red Sea today. Unfortunately I overslept. -Until about 2pm. Exhaustion is settling in on me hard. I can feel myself physically and mentally wearing out. Emotionally I’m already threadbare. Thank goodness Chris is here. Just his presence is a comfort. Knowing he is nearby is why I am able to sleep so soundly and for so long.

Tonight our group of 7 ½ went to dinner at our favorite restaurant “Mom”. Mark, Jennifer, Stephan, Elizabet, Baby Olivia (she’s the ‘1/2’ in our group J), Chris and I were also joined by Auni. On our walk to the café, we all noticed that the weather has grown noticeably colder here these past few nights. I still cannot believe I have been here for nearly 2 months. Halloween is just a few days away.

Dinner was wonderful as always. This tiny outdoor café, the kind wait staff and the incredible food with be missed by us all.

October 24

Bless my sweet husband. He may never forgive me for taking him to the Khan al’ Khalili bazaar. Fortunately it wasn’t as insane as the first time Mark and I went. Today Saied took Mark and Jennifer, Chris and myself to the Bazaar for a bit of shopping and the full Cairo experience (by the way Mark’s wife Jennifer is here! She got here last night! Yay!). Chris was called Rambo at least a dozen times.  He was not amused. He’s not a big fan of being hassled by the ‘vultures’ when he shops. He’s also not fond of his wife being gawked at –even when she is fully covered head to toe and has on a head scarf. The combination of the two left him quite irritated and more than ready to get back in the van with Saied.

In his usual fashion Saied the Great found us in record time and no Egyptian Vultures were harmed by the Big Texan Rambo. Thank goodness.

After the market Elizabeth, Stephan and Olivia met us for dinner in Cairo on a river boat and for an evening Nile Cruise. Mark and I had decided to wait to take a Nile Cruise until after our spouses arrived. I’m so glad we did. The cruise was lovely and so special to share with Chris. We all agreed that Cairo is much prettier and far more romantic in the dark. It’s harder to see the pollution and trash in the streets that way.

With dinner and the cruise completed, Saied was ready and waiting when we stepped off the boat. At times I wonder what we all would have done without him. This wonderful, kind Egyptian man is worth his weight in gold. Baby Olivia loves him too. I want to bring him to the US to be my personal driver. Someday maybe I can make that happen.

When we returned to the hotel I found Dan and said goodbye. His flight will leave early the following morning. He tried to make it easier by saying he would see me soon in Moscow. It was still difficult to let go of my friend.

Chris and I ended the evening at the pool with a rowdy group of English and Irish riggers who work for Ericsson. These gentlemen (and I use the term gentleman VERY loosely) party until all hours of the night. They made the Russians look like nuns and priests by comparison…which made me miss them all even more.

As I stood outside the hotel tonight hugging my Russian family and saying goodbye I am flooded with emotions. Some of them I may never see again. Each is so special to me. I find as I hug them and take pictures with everyone that it is difficult to let go.

Pasha is decorating the vans with our "Healthy Earth" stickers left over from the shoot. Various bottles of alcohol are passed from person to person. All of the women take turns dancing with Dima. Alexi yells for Yanna as usual when he can't get his camera to work. Because they are the strong, quiet type Dan and Chris stand off to the side. Dan doesn't leave for another day and a half and I can tell he wishes he was getting on this bus too. There is a constant flurry of activity as camera equipment and film is loaded along with luggage in between people laughing, hugging and taking pictures.

I am trying not to cry and failing miserably. Amelia is already on the bus and is fussing at me to stop crying.

I will miss my Russian family.

Here is a thank you for all of them....

For Dan..."The Bodyguard"...I'm a lucky, lucky girl. Few actors and few men would have treated me with the concern, chivalry, respect and kindness that you have over the past few months. Even though we speak different languages we did not need a translator for we understood each other always. During the most difficult scenes of my career you were there and my job was made easier. Your gentle nature ensured that harm would never come to me when working with you. Your professionalism as an actor ensured that my dignity would never be compromised. Your concern for me as a woman ensured that no one would disrespect me in your presence. Thank you for making my time here in Cairo and my time working on this film so much easier, more enjoyable, and more special because of our friendship. I am a lucky, lucky girl to have you.

For Jenya-Grim (Grim is 'make up' in Russian)….I will miss your model-like elegance and your shy, sweet demeanor. We developed our own language, our own way of communicating during our time together. Even through a language barrier we developed our own inside jokes (Me: “Pashalsta (please) Botox!” You: “Nyet (no) Botox!”). I’ll always remember laughing and watching as Jeff taught you American drinking games (You’ve never looked cuter than with a playing card on your forehead). I remember watching in amazement as you and Natasha drew pictures of chicken shish-kabobs at a restaurant so you could order what you wanted, and that your pronunciation of ‘Chocolate Cake’ was always perfect.

For Natasha-Grim…I will miss your beautiful voice and your kind and loving demeanor. I’ll never forget how in the middle of the night I stood outside my hotel room and laughed hysterically as you scolded an amorous and intoxicated young Russian who was trying to ‘buy’ his way into my room with a bottle of Cognac and some Egyptian fruit. The poor guy didn’t know I was married. You informed him. He was very, very sorry by the time you were done with him. After apologies were made, you each got into separate elevators. As I was going back into my room, you reappeared moments later, poking your head out of the elevator to confirm that he was gone for good. I laughed even more and knew that those big blue eyes of yours would be looking out for me both while I was on-camera and off-camera.

For DJ Denis (aka: Jameson)….Our friendship began back in Moscow last May. It was tested here in Cairo many times and I am grateful that we were able to work through it all. Thank you for all of the nights of friendship, laughter, music and toasts in your room/production office with all of the Russians. Even when you were the target of my wrath (someone had to be!) we always managed to keep our friendship a priority. I will always remember the good times, will learn from the bad, and no matter what will always think of you when I see expensive D&G Sunglasses, a bottle of Jameson Whiskey or Sky Vodka. Thank you for being our DJ.

For The Most Handsome Camera and Lighting Department Ever...Andre, Sasha (aka: Justin Timberlake), "Wild Man" Dima, Alexi, Slava, Sasha "Habibi", Misha and Igor…You are some of the finest, most talented and wonderful men I could ever hope to work with. This beautiful film is the result of your amazing gifts and abilities behind the camera. Each of you are so special to me and I am so very grateful that I was blessed enough to work with you. You made me laugh, you filmed as I cried, you respected me when others did not. The hours at the pool laughing at all of your antics, the hundreds of times that Dima scared me to death when the elevator doors opened, translating English for many of you at dinner, sharing Shisha with Sasha "My Habibi" and Slava, I will remember and value every moment. Thank you to each of you

Shown left to right is Andre, Dima, Alexi, Misha, Sasha (one minute!), Slava, Igor, the group at El Fayoum, and Sasha (My 'Habibi' which is a term of endearment in Arabic)

For Vera (Camera dept), Yana (Playback), Masha (Igor’s wife), Irena (Editor), Nina (Script Supervisor), Nastia (Props), and “The Sound Girls”…. Egypt was a more lovely place because you were in it. This hotel and our set were always full of laughter, smiles and Russian girl talk whenever you were nearby. The poolside always seemed to be adorned with several of you, lounging and relaxing in the sun. Each one of you brought something special into my life that I will always cherish. Thank you to each of you for your patience in communicating, your constant hard work, your friendship, and all of the wonderful memories. From our first crazy day in the Sahara desert, until our last night at the pool talking about ‘the boys’. I will always cherish each of you.

Shown left to right below, Vera, Masha, Irena, Nina, "The Sound Girls" and Yanna

For Kasenia, Tania and Amelia...I have never argued so much or laughed so hard with any costume department ever. Bless you for all of  your hours of hard work, concern, your eye for detail and most of all, your sense of humor. Kasenia (aka: Harry Potter :) ...you always figured out a way to make Grimov AND me happy -miraculous! Thank you for the fabulous shopping trip where we found my red dress and my boots, for tolerating my tantrums and for making jokes about going into the porn industry "because in porn there IS NO COSTUME!". Tania (aka: Tori Amos)...When you arrived you instantly made everyone's life easier with your calm and gentle demeanor. As a fellow redhead, you balanced my firey nature with your cool, level head. Thank you for always making everyone feel at ease. Amelia (aka: Mama-melia)...From the moment we met you spoke in a flood of sparkling Russian and somehow I understood EVERYTHING you said. We somehow managed to communicate without a problem, while everyone else listened and looked on in amazement. I'll always remember the many times we exchanged knowing looks and shared private jokes as we appreciated the many handsome gentlemen around us. Ladies, you nearly drove me crazy but always managed to make me laugh while you were at it. No one else could have (or would have) done it so well.  

For Pasha aka “P” aka “Eta Pashka” (The Pasha)…as our property master your mischievous smile made its way into our hearts. I will never forget the contraband beer runs into 6^th of October City during Ramadan, the hours on set when you managed to somehow get everything done and everyone organized. I remember laughing at the sculpture you bought for Auni, the ‘Healthy Earth’ stickers that randomly appeared everywhere, and you decorating the van as you all pulled away from the hotel. Thank you, Pasha for my red hat, my dice, the binoculars, 2 toy guns, the stickers, and the 100 other items you showered upon me as you were emptying your prop bags in the front of the hotel when leaving. We will now add ‘Mischief’ to your list of nicknames.

For Shukrat (our first AD), Egar (Producer), Pavel (Producer)….Your unshakeable patience, professionalism in the face of adversity, and ability to get the job done no matter what has made me eager to work with each of you again. You each respected me as an actress, as a professional and as a colleague, but most importantly, you respected me as a woman when others did not. You each made an effort to make my life and my job here easier and more enjoyable. Your respect and kindness towards the Russian and Arab crews alike, the children, and all of the actors more than made up for any disrespect shown to us by others. Thank you for every day, for every effort, for all of the blood sweat and tears.

Left to right is Shukrat and Igor in the desert of El Fayoum

For Auni and Osama (our Egyptian production coordinators, translators, friends, travel guides, and resident advisors on life in Cairo)….Bless you both for the kindness and respect you have shown me. -Especially over the past few days. Your hospitality to my husband and me has been wonderful. You each have answered desperate phone calls in the middle of the night, helped in all ways possible, translated from English to Arabic to Russian to Arabic and back to English, all while maintaining a sense of humor (many of the jokes are not repeatable in my blog. But I assure you I have never laughed so hard in all my life). Thank you for your friendship, your patience, and for making our time in Cairo more enjoyable and much, much easier.

Shown left to right is Auni and Osama

For Sasha aka: Alexander (My Escort/Assistant)….Never has an American actress been more blessed to have such a wonderful, caring and sweet man as her assistant and her friend. You guarded me, my belongings and my sanity with care and compassion. I knew that on set you watched over me always. Even when I couldn’t see you, you were always there, standing out of frame, hiding in a shadow, waiting for me to just say your name. During the night shoots, or when I was working the hardest, most exhausting scenes of my career and needed to rest, you were nearby as I slept. You made my security, my privacy and my comfort your top priority. You were wonderful to me Sasha, and I thank you for everything.

For Natasha…Mama Natasha…You were more than our assistant. You became our friend, our confidant, our 2^nd translator. At times you were the bearer of good news, of bad news, our negotiator, our mediator, and in the end, my defender. Each day your smile, your warmth, your kindness, and sweetness graced our day. Thank you for making our jobs and our lives easier with your presence. I will always remember our first camel ride in the desert together. Thank you for the days in the village. Knowing that you were there, and that you also cared about the welfare of the children we worked with made it easier for me to do my job. Thank you for the night in the desert. You looked after me as your own child, always ready with a blanket, always on the lookout for those who should not be there. Thank you for our goodbye dinner. As you and I and Chris sat together enjoying an excellent California Cabernet I knew that above all you were my dear friend .

For Jenya….Our long suffering translator, our mediator, our negotiator, our wonderful and dear friend…. There are not enough words. Or perhaps there are too many. I believe it is said best with, “Russian Filmmakers, American Actors, Egyptian Builders” and, “See No Evil. Hear No Evil. Speak No Evil. Do No Evil….Maybe.”. You are more than a friend. You became family.

For Yuri Grimov…Our Director…Thank you for an opportunity and a learning experience I will never forget. I appreciate you choosing me to be Jane. Through Jane’s eyes I learned to appreciate humanity more and material things less. Through Jane’s eyes my pride as an American grew as well as my love for the Russian people and culture. While playing Jane my patience, my dignity, my physical, mental and emotional states were tested to the limit. Because of this film I am a stronger, kinder, gentler, more compassionate, more understanding, better person.  I wish the same for you.

Tuesday, October 23

The Russians leave tonight. My mind, body and emotions are on overload. I will miss this wonderful, funny group of people. They have become my family away from family in my home away from home.

Last night was our wrap party by the pool. Chris and I had a private dinner off to the side with Natasha (our assistant), enjoying an expensive bottle of California red wine that I had intended to give as a gift for someone else. After the days events I decided that person didn’t deserve it so the three of us privately enjoyed it. And we did. After many toasts, a tearful translation of thanks from me to Andre (our DP) and Dan through Jenya, the pool antics began. I have Wild Man Dima on video cavorting around the pool wearing a t-shirt from our costume department giving the appearance that he has nothing on underneath. There is a chase scene involving me repeating in Russian “G’dye Jeanski?!?!” (Where are your pants?!) and him dancing and running like a demented elf. I will post the video as soon as I am able. I will definitely miss all of my Russian family, the laughs, the tears and the memories.

I will miss them all.

Monday, October 22

And now we are Halas (Finished in Arabic). This morning at 6:30am Hamdi drove Chris, Mark, Jenya, Natasha, and myself to our final day of work here in Cairo and on the set of Strangers. Bittersweet is an appropriate word. Upon arrival at the beautiful mansion in a wealthy district of Giza in which our last scenes would be filmed I absorbed the controlled chaos of our set one last time. As Abbas (our Egyptian Art Director) held court and Osama (Our Russian/Arab translator) shouted instructions the Arabs scurried about readying the set for the days work. While vans full of tired Russian crew members unloaded, Yuri stalked about in his normal fashion, as Andre (our Director of Photography) maintained his signature calm and focused demeanor.

Throughout the morning Mark and I had the pleasure of working with a beautiful 13 month old Egyptian baby girl named Firenha. She and I resemble each other with our curly hair and big smiles.

With the mornings work completed Mark returned to the hotel and it was decided that I would participate in a photoshoot for the film’s poster in the desert nearby. After 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours I was in no mood for things to be difficult.

Unfortunately they were.

By now you all must realize and appreciate my need for discretion at times when I am writing my blog. How often I wish I could be blatantly, brutally honest and just tell you stories as they happen.

Unfortunately I cannot.

What I can say is that after 10 minutes Chris and I left the photoshoot. I was furious, shaking, and in tears. He was equally as upset but managed to maintain his calm. Thank God he was there. The drive home was made easier for me because of his presence. Having him there to hold my hand made all the difference in the world. Poor Hamdi was so worried as he drove us. He kept looking back at me in the rear view mirror and saying in Arabic and broken English, “I’m so sorry Scarlett. It be ok. Hotel soon.” 

Another person left equally as furious, although I doubt this person is capable of having an emotion human enough to produce tears.

Fortunately I am human enough to cry.

My tears today were for several reasons. They were tears of anger, frustration, exhaustion and disappointment. They were tears of sadness for a person who is without a heart, without a soul and without understanding or sympathy for others. They were tears of gratitude for Natasha and Shukrat in our Assistant Director department, for Jenya our translator, for Natalia and Jenya in Hair and Makeup, for Sasha, Dima and Igor in our brilliant camera department, for my wonderful friend and DP Andre and his always present kindness and respect of me. These tears were symbols of gratitude for the people here on both crews, Arab and Russian alike, who have shown me kindness and respect.

The memories that I have of those who have shown me kindness, friendship and respect I will carry in my heart forever. Everything and anyone else is Halas.

On the way to the studio tonight I rode in between Dan and Mark. We took a few funny photos but the mood in general was darker. It is almost over. I will miss these men who have been such a big part of my life for the past several weeks. Each of them so different, yet special to me for different reasons.  They have been my friends, my companions, my protectors, my consolers, my partners in scenes and my partners in crime. They are both wonderful and I am, as always, a lucky girl. 

Tonight we finished in the village. There have been some last minute changes to the story. Some scenes are cut. Dan is wrapped. He returns to Moscow in a few days. Mark and I will be done tomorrow. It is almost over. There are many people here that I will miss terribly, including Dan and Mark and all of our wonderful Russian crew.

There is perhaps only one other person here that I will not miss.

I doubt that person would even care.
===============================================================================

dis·re·spect·ful                  adj.                                                                                                                                                                                           Having or exhibiting a lack of respect; rude and discourteous.

control freak Slang                                                                                                                                                                            n.
One who has an obsessive need to exert control over people and situations.

Saturday, October 20th

I am trying desperately not to cry. I keep repeating to myself, “Save it for your scenes later, save it for your scenes later.”. Last week when I said goodbye to my friend Sasha, one of our wonderful cameramen, my eyes teared up. Somehow I managed to keep it together. Right now I am struggling.

We all just had dinner together one last time before Kati, Jeff and Neil leave in the morning. Ahmed delivered from our favorite restaurant ‘Mom’ and the 6 of us including Jenya sat by the pool laughing and reminiscing.

I have to remind myself that Kati and Jeff live in LA near me. Because Neil is in New York I don’t know when I will see him again. Mark and I are here for another week together and then we too will say goodbye. These people have become my family away from family. We have laughed a thousand times together and I am grateful to each of them for everything. Without them this film and this experience would not be half of what it is. This film is a better film, a more beautiful film for what they have brought to it. This experience has been one of friendship, laughter and wonderful memories because of them and the wonderful people they are.

For Kathleen…KatiGati...I thank you for your guidance, your friendship, your infectious laugh, your professionalism, your poise under pressure and your sparkling blue eyes full of mischief. I thank you for Cognac and coke, beauty shop evenings in your room, and the hours of man watching at the pool and on set. I thank you for your self depreciating humor, your bargaining skills and your translation ability. Most of all I thank you for your support. Throughout everything you have been on my side and on Jane’s side. You have looked out for us both and for what is in our best interest and for the best interest of this story. There could have been no other Miss Stone.

For Neil….My Neil…I thank you for the constant laughter. Everyday you brightened our lives with antics, impressions, jokes and stories. I thank you for your brilliant work as Mike, our resident drama queen. I thank you for your patience, understanding, constant calm demeanor and unshakeable positive outlook. I thank you for never failing to make me smile, for always showing us a different perspective and for always, always, just being Neil. You are unique. You are special. You are amazingly talented. You are already missed my sweet, wonderful friend. (G’DYE MAHCHINA??!! AH YOO RED-EHHH??)

For Jeff…Big Tex…I thank you for forever being a teenager at heart, for always having an eye for the ladies and an appreciation for a ‘Bolshoy Popa’. Thank you for having a song lyric for every occasion, and a personalized ring tone for us all (Miss New Booty for me!). Thank you for all the times you were my security guard, my friend, my big comfy ‘recliner’ in the cab on the way to Carre Four. Thank you for refusing to learn a word of Russian other than one single phrase which you used to pick up women with. I’ll always remember you curling couches instead of lifting weights and our conversations about ‘rearranging furniture’ when the food got to us really badly. Speaking of food, you eat more sugar than anyone I know. So, let’s go get some dessert in LA soon.

And so the countdown begins. It will be over soon.

Friday, October 19th

Today was the last day of filming for Kathleen, Neil and Jeff.

It was a day of mixed emotions, plenty of laughter, and as always, a bit of drama when Neil stepped on a nail sending it nearly an inch into the arch of his foot. He was attended to by an excellent doctor and given some pretty heavy duty drugs that he seemed to enjoy quite a bit.

At the end of the day, after the goodbyes were said to the crew and a thousand pictures were taken it all started to sink in. They are leaving soon. And then so will Mark and I.

Later at the pool we all gathered for wine, toasts and memories. Each of us present, yet somehow lost in thought. Neil lounging in a pool chair with his foot propped on a table, half high on painkillers and antibiotics. Mark, Kathleen and the camera crew in the water chatting about the day. Irena and Sasha teaching me Russian slang while I poured wine and Dan mixed rum and cokes. Jeff appeared minutes later with a freshly shaved head, happy to have returned to his old ‘Jeffy-G’ self. Finally he is free of his character Bill’s hair that he’s worn for the past few months.

In the following days each of us will start to shed our characters and regain ourselves bit by bit. The Scarlett that will return to the states in a few days will go home a different person. A better person because of these people.

Thursday, October 18th

My English language skills have suffered during my stay here in Cairo. In order to make it easier for the Russians and the Arabs to understand me in English, I speak a bit more slowly and use simple words that are more common to all ears. I use my hands more than normal, helping to communicate what I mean through pointing and gesturing. Even with the Americans I find myself doing the same. In fact, while speaking with someone at a restaurant recently I was asked if I was from the UK. At first this seemed an odd question. -Until I realized that at times I affect a slight British accent when someone is struggling to understand me. The good news is that this does help in the communication process (remember Americans, there are fewer people here that speak English with an American accent than a British accent!). The bad news is that I now feel like a moron.

In writing this blog just now, I also realized that I am doing the same thing in my writing. –Minus the British accent and hand gestures of course.

===============================================================

Tonight was another shopping trip to City Stars, this time with Masha and Irena. Masha's husband Igor is our gaffer, and Irena is our editor. Irena and I know each other from ‘Montana’ (another Russian film we both worked on) so it has been wonderful reminiscing with her here in Cairo.

At City Stars tonight things were much more calm when the three of us arrived. Because it is a very modern, public place we felt comfortable going shopping alone, and although I still dressed conservatively, I didn’t cover my hair. In fact, I even wore jeans and high heels (oooohhhh…scandalous!). I did bring my knife and pepper spray –just in case. The moment we walked through the door I knew things would be fine. In fact, it was almost comical the reaction that the 3 of us got from the other shoppers. I will find a picture of the 3 of us to post soon, but in the meantime, here is a description to help you form a mental image:

Masha: 5’4” tall. Early 20’s. Platinum blonde hair. Thin build, darkly tanned, huge, bright blue eyes. Lovely smile.

Irena: 5’5” tall. Late 20’s. Dark chestnut hair. Thin build with curves, big hazel eyes, wonderful smile.

Me: Duh. You should know what I look like. It’s MY website silly.

I imagine that even in Moscow or Los Angeles we would have been noticed. But here in Cairo NO one looks like us and therefore it was as though Charlie’s Angel’s themselves had walked through the doors. I witnessed one guy literally trip and fall over his own feet Two others ran into each other ‘Three Stooges Style’ knocking heads and nearly falling.

Another almost fell down the escalator. A few more practically ran over their own wives and children while walking with their heads turned sideways. Like I have said before, I’ve perfected the ‘Don’t talk to me, Don’t touch me, Don’t approach me’ facial expression and body language. Evidentially so have Masha and Irena, so there were no problems. In a way I felt sorry for all of the poor injured Egyptian men left behind in our wake. Many will go home limping or with bruised foreheads and noses. Or at least with very sore necks from all of the craning and neck twisting they did.

The good news is they all went home with all body parts intact and without being maced by a pissed off redhead.

Wednesday, October 17th

We are all tired.

We are all ready to go home.

Kathleen is already packed and trying to figure out how to get out of here as soon as she's wrapped. Neil spends his free time playing computer games and planning his first night back in New York with his girlfriend Monica. Jeff’s time is spent in search of nightclubs here in Cairo and lining up the girls back home in LA. Dan has become quieter than usual. When he's not at the pool he disappears into his room to read Shakespeare in preparation for his next performance in Moscow. Mark is much less cheerful than usual. His laughing and easy going manner is now darkened with a note of tension in his voice and demeanor.

Today was a return to the day schedule. I was in EVERY single scene. My character Jane has been through a lot in this film. Yuri decided to up the anti further with a scene that he invented only a few days ago for Mark and I. Four hours later, after several re-writes on set, constant changes in direction and several confusing discussions through poor Jenya, it felt as though Mark and I finally got it.

Evidentially we were wrong.

Because divulging the details of this issue would be disrespectful I will refrain from doing so. Even if respect isn’t important to some other people it is important to Mark and I. We respect the hard work and effort that our wonderful Russian crew has put into this film. We respect our fellow cast members and acknowledge their hard work every day. We respect each other as human beings and as the extended family and friends we have become.

Even if some other people have no concept of the definition of respect.

re·spect

tr.v. re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.

3. To relate or refer to; concern.

n.

1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.

2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.

3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

Tuesday, October 16th

I made some new friends at the pool a few days ago. While sitting there reading I spotted an adorable little baby girl of about a 15 months old playing with her mom in the children’s area of the pool. Everything made her laugh and she was obviously a very happy little baby. After I few minutes I realized that she was there with her husband, a man named Stephan that I had spoken with a few weeks prior (he’s here in Cairo working), and that she also spoke English. They are from Sweden, but both have worked all over the world and therefore speak perfect English. We chatted and a few hours later ran into each other again in the hotel café. Minutes later a shopping trip was arranged for the following day.  

So this morning the ever-reliable Saied picked us and Kathleen up at noon for a trip into the 6^th of October district for some girl time. Kathleen lasted about an hour before she had to head back, but Elizabet and Olivia and I soldiered on for several more hours of bargain hunting. It was so nice to have a conversation that didn’t revolve around the film or acting. It also helped that it was 100% in English. My brain needed the break.

Later at the hotel we had interviews to do with Jenya, our translator and then dinner in Mark’s room. RoboCop (of all Godforsaken movies) happened to be on and Jenya (the authority on American movie trivia) was chock full of interesting tidbits about this film. He has a mind like a steel trap people. It’s scary that he knows the names of all of the robots in this film.

Scary.

Monday, October 15th 

Last night we (Kathleen, Mark, Jenya, Jeff, Neil and I) went into the Heliopolis area of Cairo to a huge shopping mall called 'City Stars'. It rivals anything we have in the USA. Traffic was hell so it took us forever. Saied dropped us off at the front and upon arrival there were crowds and crowds of people outside being kept at bay by guard rails and security barriers. As we made our way to the front we realized that they were just keeping people out for no reason other than crowd control inside. We had no problem getting inside once security spotted us. They sort of shoved people out of the way so we could squeeze through the gates.

Inside the mall was packed. We immediately made our way upstairs to eat at Cantina Laredo (yes, the SAME restaurant as we have in the US!). I was so happy to see that the menu was the same as in the US, with Guacamole and Queso on the menu. The only problem is no alcohol (and not because of Ramadan, it's because of Islam), so therefore no Margaritas. I'm adding that to my list of things that I miss about the USA: Margaritas.

With an excellent dinner finished we separated and began our shopping. Because this was my second trip to City Stars and found it to be very European/Western the first time, I felt comfortable dressing a bit more American (although still fully covered) and with my hair down. I am happy to report that after 5 weeks in this country I think I may have perfected the "Don't Come Near Me. Don't Talk To Me. Don't Touch Me." attitude and look on my face. Although I still was stared at constantly there was no harassment this time. I was only followed twice, and each time I stopped and turned around, meeting the groups of teenage/20 something male followers eye to eye, glaring and saying "IMSHI" (go away) in a very firm voice.

(After re-reading that last paragraph I think that’s what drives me the most crazy about being here. I’ve had to learn to behave in a way that is totally against my personality. Everywhere I go I have to walk, talk, and act in an unfriendly and closed off way just so I don’t get harassed. I understand it’s a cultural difference. I’m a novelty here, not really a person or a human with feelings to most of the men. I look different, and therefore will automatically attract attention. I’m just tired of having to behave in a way that is so against who I am inside.)

Shopping completed and our driver Saied found waiting in the near riot madness outside it was another hour and a half trip home in crawling, honking, stop-go traffic.

After I have left this country I will share with you some of our group’s discussion.

We have learned many things while living here over the last month.

Many things.

Tuesday, October 16th

I think poor Jenya (our translator) may return to Moscow a mentally scarred young man. He probably had no idea when he first started working with the Americans that he would be privy to so many raunchy, inappropriate, socially unacceptable conversations. I will spare you all the gory details, but the topics have ranged from all sorts of bodily functions, <ahem> "intimacy tactics" that would make even Larry Flint blush, the meaning of various English curse and slang words and their multiple and creative uses and hypothetical question games that would make any psychiatrist question our sanity and moral fiber. Jenya has heard daily discussions of bowel movement quality, learned far too many details about the romantic histories and accounts of some and has been the target of sick American humor on too many occasions. All the while he maintains an unshakable air of dignity, with his slight British accent, proper responses and poise. -Unlike us Americans of course who are guffawing and making asses of ourselves in general. On any given day poor Jenya will witness most of us in various stages of undress while translating for us in the costume department. He has translated conversations regarding undergarments -and occasionally the lack thereof. He has translated for me as I stood in the hair and makeup trailer in my underwear while getting body makeup applied (his eyes staring at the ceiling looking incredibly miserable). Each time poor Jenya finds himself in these awkward situations he tries so hard to escape or at least avert his eyes before someone drops trou or a shirt comes off. Inevitably the poor soul ends up standing there red-faced, eyes closed, shaking his head, sighing and saying, "Scarlett (or Neil usually). Please. A bit of a warning. I do not need these images in my head while working with you."  To which Mark replies, "Oh, Jenya, people pay good money for these images of Scarlett. Be grateful. You're getting them for free."

<sigh>

Thank you Mark. Larry Flint would be proud.

Uh oh. Now we have to teach Jenya who Larry Flint is....

 The picture shown is of Jenya hiding from the camera (and no doubt Yuri as well) in our Landrover.

Monday, October 15th

#10- Not hearing Mosque music constantly throughout the day.

#9- Thinking in only one language instead of 4 (English, Russian, Arabic and Spanish)

#8- Tap Water

#7- Chinese Food

#6- Walking out of my house in a tank top, shorts and my hair down instead of walking out of my hotel in a long skirt and long sleeves with my hair covered just so I don’t get harassed.

#5- A refrigerator full of food that I can eat without getting sick.

#4- Not having to always keep tissue or tp in my pocket because there is never any toilet paper anywhere

#3- Talking to family and friends whenever I want instead of deciphering the time difference and whether I need to recharge my phone card.

#2- Seeing my sweet boy dog Angus grinning at me for no reason other than he loves me

#1- Snuggling with my handsome, wonderful husband on the couch while watching tv.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

With Ramadan over the hotel is madness. Tourists everywhere. Every day there is a party at the pool, with facepainting for the children, characters running around in costume, people eating and music blaring. Every evening there are huge weddings with music and dancing. Pretty wild stuff.

On the rare occasion that we see each other during the day everyone looks like zombies from working all night. After only 3 hours of sleep I drug myself out to the pool and ended up falling asleep amongst the insanity. I awakened to find a sleeping Dan nearby and a half awake Mark inquiring about my plans for rest of the day prior to our late call times.

My plans? Try not to push the next furry costumed character that skips by me waving and being cheerful into the pool.  

Saturday, October 13th

You have never seen so many happy, happy Russians in your entire life. Ramadan is over and they can obtain alcohol (legally) outside of hotel bars. Gone are the days of mafia style deals to obtain contraband beer from the local supplier. No more sneaking alcohol around in backpacks, purses, plastic bags and beneath clothing. No longer will I have to pass a beer can across my lap from Russian to Russian underneath the table at dinner. In a way it felt like high school again. I may miss Ramadan after all....

===============================================================

Tonight Mark and I shot a VERY emotional scene for us both. Sorry, no details except I now have bruises on my left side to match the ones on my right. All week Jenya and Natasha (our makeup artists) have been covering the bruises I obtained during some of my scenes with Dan. Now I am equally bruised on both legs, both arms and both wrists. Yuri is very, very happy. Mark is very upset he had to be mean to me.  I am very sore. We are all proud of our work.

Friday, October 12th

Working nights is wearing on everyone.

Yuri needed a nap today. BAD. He was a turd to Kathleen and Mark and later when he tried to be a turd to me I lit into him. For several minutes it was nearly a knock-down drag out between a wild haired director and a really pissed off little red head. Poor Jenya was trying to translate between us although it really wasn't necessary. We both knew EXACTLY what the other meant.  In the end we each got our point across and there is now more respect between the two of us. I’ll chalk it up to the start of night shoots, not enough sleep for him, etc. But I did want to choke him on several occasions and were it not because Mark and Jenya stood between us I very well may have attempted to do so. I assume the feeling is mutual so we'll call the score even between us.

I ended up getting a nap at about 3am. Sasha, my escort/assistant is on “Sleeping Beauty Duty” whenever I fall asleep. He keeps the fan club away and keeps the area quiet. I just wish he could do something about the fan club of flies, gnats and mosquitoes that follow me around here too. Gawd.

(The picture shown here is of Sasha asleep. I was on set with Dan and Mark when he dozed off. Moments after I took this picture he awakened, jumped up and started frantically looking for me :)

Thursday, October 11th

Earlier today we all piled into our van for a trip to ‘Hyper1’ the local shopping center / grocery store. ‘We’ includes Mark, Dan, Jenya, Neil, Jeff and myself. Kathleen’s boyfriend Michael is in town so they’re MIA. Probably at the pyramids. On the way to the store we attempted to clarify with our driver Saied when Ramadan would be over. The conversation was pretty limited to the fact that between all of us we collectively know about 10 words in Arabic. -About the exact same number as Saied understands in English.

Therefore, we improvised our own ideas on how to go about deciding when Ramadan is over….

In the American tradition of Groundhog Day, a little groundhog named ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ comes out of his hole after a long winter sleep to look for his shadow. If he sees it, he regards it as an omen of six more weeks of bad weather and returns to his hole. If the day is cloudy and, hence, shadowless, he takes it as a sign of spring and stays above ground.

Instead of Phil the Groundhog, we have decided that here in Egypt that have Akbar the Camel. If Akbar leaves his cave and sees his shadow then it’s 6 more months of Ramadan. If Akbar likewise does not see his shadow, then the coast is clear, Ramadan is over and he better get a drink while he can.

Yes, we are funny. Thank you.

We all have evening call times at Media City Studios which fortunately is 10 minutes from our hotel.

Yip…eeeee…

Wednesday, October 10th

I informed Yuri that I only want to wear my red dress for the rest of the film. This dress, that Kasenia and I spent 2 days searching for is FABULOUS. And with my equally fabulous knee high suede Benetton boots I actually feel kinda cute for once in this film. I say this because for 99% of the movie I am dirty, sweating, crying or in some form of distress. So for this 1% of the film I felt cute….until the sandstorm.

But first let’s discuss how the previous part of the evening went.

Today I:

-Was informed that because of the continued problems on set with my ‘Egyptian Fan Club’ I now can not be alone at any time. Dan therefore did not leave my side all day.

-Photographed Abbas, our Egyptian art director (aka: ‘Bullhorn Bin Ladin) taking a nap wearing a fabulous head-to-toe red ensemble. He looked like an Arabic Santa Clause on safari. By the way, Abbas has been in the film industry since the 40s. He’s won several academy awards and has worked on many, many, major American films. He is a character.

-Changed wardrobe 4 times in the back of a Landrover because we were too far from basecamp for me to return to my motorhome to change.

-Witnessed the chaos as our Arab crew LITERALLY began dropping everything and breaking their fast and praying at sundown by the side of the road in the middle of the sahara desert. You have never heard so much yelling in Arabic and Russian. Ever. Ever. Ever.

-Witnessed the continuing chaos when they had to move our basecamp 4 kilometers down the road in the middle of all of the praying and fast breaking.

-Was nearly run over 6 times by my own motorhome during said company move.

-Was then nearly run down another 6 times by the grip truck, the makeup trailer, my Landrover, the camera truck, a transpo van and the director’s vehicle.

-Saved all 12 times by Dan who finally had enough of the craziness, put me into a transpo van and sat there guarding me from any ‘fanclubbers’. Because his costume includes a machine gun his job should have been easy. Because my costume included my fabulous red dress and boots I just made it more difficult. Oh how I wished I knew how to say in Arabic, “FOCUS ON THE PRAYING, EATING AND BAD DRIVING BOYS. ALLAH WILL REWARD YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE.” But Dan standing there growling and glaring did a pretty good job of communicating the message.

-Repeated the mantra, “I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.” while handcuffed, filthy, exhausted and shivering in the desert at 3am inside a convertible Porsche while sand and sawdust rained down on me to simulate a sandstorm while I ‘slept’. All the while Yuri is directing me with snoring, yawning, and lip smacking sounds. After about 30 seconds of this routine I couldn’t handle it anymore, burst out laughing hysterically and told him that if he really wanted me to appear asleep he needed to shut the hell up and stop making me laugh. At least I was wearing my red dress.

-Slept the entire 2 hour trip home crashed out and curled up next to a big sleeping Russian (Dan, minus the machine gun) while listening to the 'soothing' sounds of Arabic hip-hop courtesy of Hamdi our driver.

-Arrived back at our hotel at 5:30 AM looking like pure hell. This is possibly the first time security hasn’t made eyes at me since I arrived here.

Oh the glamour.

Tuesday, October 9th

After 2 hours in traffic we made it to the Egyptian museum. Mark and I had a mini meltdown half way to the museum when our car broke down and we had to switch drivers in the middle of the highway in bumper to bumper traffic. I thought Mark was going to kill someone. I just wanted to get it all on video.

After finally making it to the museum I was floored to see how inappropriately so many tourists were dressed. Here is another piece of advice for everyone out there: PLEASE. When you are visiting an ISLAMIC country DO NOT DRESS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO A CLUB, TO THE BEACH OR LIKE YOU ARE WALKING HOLLYWOOD BLVD. This just simply makes life so much harder for the women that must continue to live here after you have gone. When a women walks around in public here wearing clothing that shows cleavage, bare shoulders, thighs, midriffs and nearly bare backs in this country it is as though she is walking around naked. Not only is it highly disrespectful to the culture here but it makes you a target for comments, staring, gestures and more obscene things that I won't discuss. But right now I'm mostly just aggro that because thousands of tourists every year don't have enough respect to cover up it makes living here for me and other Western and European women even more of a challenge.

After all this blog is all about me after all.

Anyway…

The museum….Eh. It was hot. It was touristy. It was badly organized and without much description. It was a bunch of old stuff that I imagine I’ll appreciate more when I go back again after Chris arrives.

After the museum we decide to go eat at a riverboat restaurant on the Nile. I'm embarrassed to admit that it was at Applebees. But before you start to judge us all too harshly, please hear me out: Because it is STILL RAMADAN (God help me) most every restaurant becomes packed at sundown when all of the Muslims break their fast. We just weren't thinking when at 5:30pm we tried to get seating for 10 people. So because we were limited by who had room for 9 people and where we would eat (many places we’re afraid to eat because we’re all getting sick so often) Applebee’s was our only remaining choice. And so there sat 5 Russians and 5 Americans eating bad American food on the Nile River in Cairo Egypt. Ahhh….culture.

After Applebees it was off to see the night time pyramid light show. Lasers, British Voice Overs the and semi-cheesyness of it all made it fun and at least interesting.

Upon arrival back to the hotel Yuri invited us to watch dailies. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. I am very proud of all of our work. You will be too.

Monday, October 8th

I cannot go into detail on what we shot today.

I can only say that upon watching the playback today I am so proud of this film.

I am grateful for our wonderful Russian camera crew. I love and respect each of them as they love and respect me. I am grateful to Yuri for his work ethic, his willingness to get involved with his actors, and his ability as a director. I am grateful to Jenya for his kindness, his respect of me, and his always tactful approach in translating everything.

I am especially grateful to my co-star Dan. He is a professional, a gentleman, and a wonderful friend to me. Without him my job would be so much more difficult. I am a lucky, lucky girl to have him here.

I cannot wait for you all to see this film.

I am a lucky, lucky girl indeed.

Today I....

-Rode 2 1/2 hours to the Red Sea on a tour bus full of Russians and one American (Jeff).

-Listened to them play guitar & sing traditional Russian songs

-Laughed often

-Danced to American Swing music (in the back of the bus)

-Saw a man carrying a goat on his shoulders in the middle of the city

-Nearly witnessed several dozen people get mowed down in the insane traffic

-Told an overly friendly Egyptian guy that I would personally castrate him and take his parts home as a trophy to my husband if he didn't IMSHI (go away) NOW! (the language I used was far more colorful)

-Napped on the beach with 5 Russians, one of whom snored louder than my dog.

-Was 'protected' from a very dangerous crab by my bodyguard Dan. Thank goodness he was there. I'm not sure what I would have done without him .

-Marveled at the crystal clear WARM water of the Red Sea.

-Floated in the almost waveless, turquiose, salty sea with no effort at all.

-Decided that this was my favorite place in all of Egypt.

-Rode 2 1/5 hours back to our hotel with a bus full of sleeping Russians and 1 American. Dan sleeping very soundly beside me 'protecting' me from lurking 'Svinyas' (Russian for Swine which is what I call the Egyptian Men who won't leave me alone).

-Missed my husband terribly. Can't wait to see him.

Saturday, October 6th

"The Appendix, The Accordion, The Surgeon and The Bodyguard"  -no, it's not the beginning of an obscure Russian joke. These all were important parts a very  involves scenes from our film. I can't divulge the details, but it's actually a very touching scene.

The more days we work, the more playback we see and the more dailies that come available for viewing prove to us that this is already a beautiful, important and very special film. 

I am grateful to be here and to be a part of this experience.

Friday, October 5th

If I have one piece of advice for anyone visiting Egypt it is this:

DO NOT GO TO A MARKETPLACE ON A FRIDAY DURING RAMADAN.

You may not escape with your life. Or your sanity.

The only way to describe the scene is that it is a combination of the 'Running of The Bulls' in Pamplona, a European football riot, opening day on Wallstreet, & 'Mohammad's Massive Clearance Sale and Camel Wash'. 

I am not exaggerating.

Shortly after arriving at the sprawling open air market several that encompassed several square miles, Mark and I became separated from Jeff, Kathleen and Darren (Darren is our new friend that we met here at the hotel. He's an American here for several months on business and is wonderful!).  Because Darren and Jeff are both large muscular black men we knew Kathleen was in good hands. In fact, I later learned that Kathleen frequently heard the phrase, "Ah! Lucky Lady! Two Cowboy husband for you!". -I only mention Darren and Jeff's race because there are so few black people here that when the locals see one they are curious but still keep a respectful distance.

Mark and I could have used a few muscular black men of our own.

Before I go further into this story, I must tell you that I dress VERY conservatively here (long skirts, long pants, long sleeves, high necklines, etc). On this particular day I had covered my hair completely with a scarf, thus making me far less obvious as a foreigner. My hope was that it would help to keep me from being harassed as much, and perhaps keep the touching to a minimum.

Next time I'm going out in a full burkha.

Anyhow.....In order to not lose Mark completely in the pushing sea of people, I had a hold of the back of his belt (Yuri-style as we like to call it). This seemed like a good idea until I felt a hand on the back of MY belt. Expecting one of our American group, I turned and was eye-to-eye with a grinning 20-something Egyptian guy, looking very pleased with himself.

Here's how the conversation went from there:

Pervert: "You touch me too!". 

Me: "LA! IMSHI A'LA!" (No! Go Away! No!" in Arabic)

Pervert: <grinning with his four teeth>

Me: "MAAAARK!!!"

Sidenote for Mark's wife Jennifer: Bless you and bless your wonderful husband. Were it not for him on this insane day I probably would have been traded off for a few camels and a shisha pipe and never heard from again. He looked after me and protected me in the same way that my own husband  would. I know that Chris is as grateful to Mark as I am. It is a testament to Mark's love and respect for you as his wife that he instinctively looked after me the way he would have looked after you.

After Mark grabbed my hand we lost the grinning perv in mob of people on the narrow street. As we made our way past men pushing giants carts of goods, women carrying babies, young children clinging to their mother's skirts, and the elderly barely managing to not get trampled, people shouted constantly, and fights broke out frequently. Men would shove through the crowd with large dolly carts overloaded with merchandise, other men would shove back, and many times the conditions were near riotous. At one point it got so bad that we had taken to hiding in shops to escape the madness. You know that it's bad when shopkeepers help you find safe routes OUT of their stores.

Eventually we made our way out of the mayhem and found the others in our group. We even got some shopping done and found Mark's Egyptian guitar he had been after (can't remember what it's called but it's really beautiful).

After dinner at Chili's on a boat on the Nile River (Yes. Chili's. I know. But we are all so done with getting sick from random local places that chain restaurants offer the most safety) it was back home to hotel sweet hotel.

Sanity intact.

No casualties.

All accounted for.

Mission accomplished.

Thursday, October 4th

Yuri decided last week that I must have a red dress and only a red dress for 2 very important scenes in the film. My initial reaction was "Where in Allah's name are we going to find a dress that meets these requirements IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!". Well, low and behold after 2 days of searching we did.

It was arranged for our costume designer Kasenia and our driver Medo to pick me up in the morning so we could go into downtown Cairo to shop. After fighting traffic that rivaled LA, we arrived at what can only be described as a shopping Mecca. The Nirvana of of all Galleria style malls. Gone was the feeling of being in a 3rd world country. Instead, I was surrounded by designer stores, luxury brand storefronts, recognizable American restaurants (Cinnabon!) and CLEAN restrooms. I was in heaven. HEAVEN.

4 hours and approximately 60 stores later we found THE dress. I thought Kasenia would cry. I did cry because I didn't want to leave. After bribing me with a double chocolate chip cookie and a pair of suede boots from Beneton I resigned myself to the fact that I must return to the 3rd world outside the doors of the gleaming City Stars shopping center.

The cookie helped ease the pain.

Cinnabon would have been better.

(In the picture I am on set wearing my 'new & fabulous' red dress- after hair-makeup and wardrobe had gotten through with me. Sigh. And I just thought I would get to look cute for once.)

Wednesday, October 3rd

Back to El Fayoum. I'm so glad we don't have to make this 1 1/2 hour trek each way every day. The last scene was at sunset and was amazing. Andre's camera work is brilliant and Yuri is making a beautiful film so everyone is very, very excited.

The soldiers leave early tomorrow morning. I believe I speak for many women here in this hotel and on our crew when I say that  I was sad to say goodbye. Vani, Tom, Igor, Sasha.... Some day I will be wealthy enough to hire you as my own personal synchronized swim team. Purely for the appreciation of the sport. -I mean the ART of the sport. Of course .

(Shown in the picture above are Ivan "Vani" Smirnov & Artem "Tom" Fedotov, on set in the El Fayoum desert)

Kathleen and I have now decided that all scenes with the soldiers should be done with them shirtless.  We are also encouraging Mark, Jeff, Neil and Dan to participate in this which shouldn't be too difficult. Offer Neil a quarter and he'll do anything. Jeff strips on command if there are women around. Dan drops trou at the mere mention of beer, vodka or cognac. Mark just rolls his eyes at me.

What? It helps us get into character! We are ARTISTS. It's for the work, people! This is for the art of the film! Art requires sacrifice. And these hot, sweaty, buff, young Russian artists should sacrifice their shirts in the name of art!

Thank goodness my husband has a sense of humor.

==============================================================================

Upon returning from set today most of us ended up at the pool. By most of us I mean many of the Russian soldiers I referred to in the above paragraph, Mark, Kathleen, Nina, Natasha (the men's makeup artist) and me.

Within minutes a 'synchronized swim team' had formed and we (as well as all of the other hotel guests) were treated to quite a show. I encourage you to to visit this link and see for yourself...

 http://scarlettmcalister.com/index.php?pageID=860_2&

Monday, October 1st.

Good Lord it's October already. Time is flying fast.

The scenery has improved considerably around here. Last night the Russian actors returned. They are 10 of the funniest, sweetest, talented group of young men you've ever laid eyes on. It also helps that they're CUTE. Really, really, really, boy-hot-cute like Orlando Bloom with potential to be man-hot-handsome like Russell Crowe. It also helps that they spend all of their spare time at the pool. <sigh> I'm a lucky, lucky, girl.
(No, honey, they don't hold a candle to you. Yes you could squash them with your man-strength ) .

All day today we shot the scenes of the Russian soldier's arrival into our village. When one of their soldiers is severally injured trying to save a child from a landmine, we try to save the soldier's life with very limited resources. In many ways, on many levels it was a touching scene. My character Jane ends up with the dying Lieutenant Svetlov clinging desperately to her hand as he's hauled away by his comrades.

The scene work was heart wrenching. Mark and I watched the playback of it and we both looked absolutely emotionally wrecked. The work was hard, but rewarding.

As an additional reward they walk around shirtless.

A lot.

Cairo, Sunday, September, 30^th

I did almost nothing today. Neither did anyone else because half of us are sick and it’s STILL RAMADAN AND EVERYTHING IS CLOSED FROM 3-8. AAARRRRGH!!!!. Yes, Mark is still puny and now Neil is sick. He’s got a cold of some sort and is feeling cruddy. Probably has something to do with the 100+ children from a 3^rd world country who receive little to no dental or health care who we’ve been in close contact with all week. We affectionately call them our ‘little Petri dishes’. I’m so glad I got all of my shots before I left the US. I’m also glad for antibacterial gel, hot showers and antibacterial soap.

 Here’s how my day went:

~Woke up at 10.

~Ate breakfast.

~Pool.

~Nap.

~Grocery Store with Everyone.

~Impromptu English/Russian lesson with Dan (Russian actor who plays our body guard). His first sentence: “SCARLETT. I WANT TO EAT. NOW!” I laughed. Hard. When I asked him what he preferred he said “MEAT!”. -Chris will definitely like this guy.

~Pizza.

~Rehearsal.

~Back to the store because someone else needed to go.

~Update Blog.

~Sleep.

~GOODNIGHT!

Saturday, September 29^th

I saw Es again today. She was a full of life and light as ever. As soon as she saw me she came running up to me with a big hug. I surprised her with some pictures of her and her friends that I had printed. The look on her face was worth a thousand thank yous. She was coming in with the other children just as I was leaving so it was a quick hello and quick goodbye. She is so special and lovely. I wish her a life that is the same.

On a less lovely note, Mark is SO sick and is SUCH a butthead about about admitting it. Gawd. You would think that with him being married for the past 10 years to his beautiful and amazing wife Jennifer that he would have figured out the fringe benefits to being sick: YOU GET EXTRA ATTENTION. But noooo. Not Mark. I spent most of the morning chasing him around trying to force Airborne,  Emergen-C, and Tylenol down his throat, feeling to see if he had a fever and in general fretting about whether or not he was going to puke or pass out in the middle of a scene. But he was ‘fine’. Sure he was. That’s why as soon as we were able to get him into the motorhome and get a pillow under his head he passed out cold for 2 hours. As soon as we were at the hotel he was out until the next day at 3pm.

Men.

Gawd.

Cairo, Friday, September 28^th

Thank God for Mark and his guitar. He plays constantly during our downtime and it’s the most relaxing thing ever. He plays in our motorhome. He plays in our green room. He plays everywhere and he even falls asleep with his guitar on his chest. Therefore, even when I want to strangle Shukrat (our 1^st AD) or the nearest Arab with a bullhorn, he manages to keep me in a constant state of Zen by strumming his own bluesy-country combination.  

Today was an easy, albeit gross day full of more blue screen locust stuff and a few close ups of Mark and I outside. I thought I was immune to the grossness of giant Egyptian locusts covered in grease and/or rubber cement to make them stick to the windows and windshield of our Landrover.

Evidentially I’m not.

Between the intoxicating effects of the rubber cement, the giant locusts inches from my face and the constant case of mummy’s tummy that’s been plaguing me since my arrival here in Egypt, all I wanted to do was vomit.  -Preferably into one of the bullhorns that the Arab crew are so fond of screaming into.

Cairo, Wednesday, September 26^{th &}  Thursday 27^th

On this wonderful, joyful, heartbreaking & beautiful day full of laughter and some tears, I am grateful to be an American and that mine and Chris’s children will be born in America. During the past two days I learned the lesson that there are cultures in this world who do not value their children the way we do in the USA. There are places that exist where children are treated hardly different than animals –and in this place animals are treated terribly. In this place animals do not have value other than what they can contribute to work. Here animals are beaten, tied, starved and dehydrated, left to die in the streets and in the deserts. Like the animals, the children are not shown affection. Food and water is something to be begged for by them. They are starved for attention, for health care, for education, for love. A simple smile and a thumbs up will bring laughter and clapping from them. Kindness for them is like food for their soul. For two days Mark, Jeff, Kathleen, Neil, and I, as well as all of the Russians showered kindness, love, attention and laughter upon the 70+ Egyptian children brought to us from surrounding villages for our some of our village scenes in the film. We’ve played games with rambunctious boys, laughed with little girls, held and comforted sobbing babies left alone and terrified. We learned Arabic, taught English, received hugs, kissed cheeks, dried tears, sang songs and shared amazing moments with each other and these very special children. After over 10 hours each day we left emotionally exhausted, but with full hearts and fuller appreciation for life.

There is one little girl that had a particularly profound effect on me, and I on her. Her name is EsIroq (Es is what I called her because her name was difficult to pronounce) and she’s 11 years old. From the moment I laid eyes on this delicate little girl with curly hair wearing a faded pink dress with little flowers I knew she was special. The light and life that emanated from this child was so bright and warm it just pulled you in. For two hours Mark and I talked, laughed, joked and took pictures with Es and her friends. Throughout the day when I would see her she would run to me laughing and smiling with a hug and a kiss for each cheek, saying, “I love you Scarlett! I love you!”. Saying goodbye to her brought me to tears. For the first time ever in my life I seriously considered Es’s situation and if she was adoptable. –Even though this is not possible for Es or myself the thought was there. Mark knew this and suddenly the Angelina Jolie jokes started coming as well as how he thought the conversation between Chris and I would go:

Me: Hi Honey…I um…I have good news and…other news.

Chris: You’re bringing home a camel. That’s just great Scarlett. Where are we gonna put a camel?

Me: heh, heh. Well, see that’s the thing. The good news is that it’s not a camel!

My sweet wonderful husband is used to me adopting and rescuing animals of all types. But I’ve never brought him home a daughter before.

If I never see her again I pray that Es and the rest of the children lead happy and full lives. I pray they are treated well and loved. The light in her eyes and in her smile is there for a reason. She is a special soul and will have a positive effect on this world.

I am grateful that I met her. I am grateful to be an American.

(in the picture shown on the right, Es is in the center, wearing the pink dress)

Thursday, September 27^th

After the children left, Dan (who plays our bodyguard in the film) and I had a quick scene to shoot. He’s on the outside of the Landrover, I on the inside and I’m climbing through the car full of equipment searching for some papers. All was fine until we did a separate angle inside the truck which required that I was hanging over the seat from the cargo space reaching into the back seat. The idea was to get a shot of my hands and what I was holding, but because of the confined spaces of the vehicle this was no easy feat. So there were are all together: me playing acrobat across two parts of the truck, Andre holding the camera next to me (and practically on top of me), Sasha the camera assistant in front of me, Vera jumping in to do the slate, Jenya behind Andre translating everything for me into English, when Yuri appears behind me. How this 6’5 220lb Russian with a pony tail crammed himself in between Jenya, Andre, the camera and my booty I have no idea. All I know is I heard, “Ok. So sorry. I help you.”. And I feel his hand grab my belt and pull me backward. Then it was, “Ok Jane. Go!” and I’m shoved forward over the seat. Then, “Back!” and back I went. So for the next 2 minutes I could barely keep a straight face as Yuri puppeted me over the seat by my belt completely oblivious that his chin was a half inch from my backside all the while saying, “Jane GO! Back! GO! Stop! Ok!”. Then Yuri decided he didn’t like my hair and I’m pulled back again hearing, “Ok. So sorry. I help you hair.”

Oh Great. Thank you Yuri. That’s wonderful. You’ve been so helpful already.

I then feel pawing at my hair while Yuri ‘Yurified’ me to his liking and I’m shoved-thrown-puppeted over the seat. At this point I’m outwardly laughing and Sasha (whose kneecaps are inches from my nose) can no longer keep a straight face. Because Yuri can see him he’s taken to hiding behind the slate while he laughs.   

After 10 minutes of being the Yuri puppet I was done and I declared that they all could have at least bought me dinner first. –But that Yuri now owed me nice jewelry for the show he got. He looked confused; his wife translated and then thumped his head and told me he hadn’t even noticed. He was too busy watching the camera’s monitor to notice my rear in his face for the past 10 minutes.

Not sure if this is a compliment or not.

(Shown is a picture of me BEFORE everyone else piled in behind, on top of, and around me)

Tuesday, September 25^th

Today we were at a large studio lot here in Cairo. Because I’m exhausted I can’t remember what it’s called. But it’s big. And it’s really nice. Pretty simple day actually, just had to do a bit of blue screen work for the CGI shots of the locusts outside the car. They had an area set up that was completely blue screened around on 3 sides (the kind of blue that a computer can easily insert a locust swarm into), Mark and I spent the day inside our air conditioned Land Rover pretending to drive down the road when we drive through the locust swarm. Chaos ensues. Hilarity also ensued when an Egyptian crew guy we call ‘The Rooster’ showed up and began strutting around and preening. Wearing tight stonewashed jeans, pointy boots, a tight muscle shirt and mirrored sunglasses, he struts around with an air that says ‘YES, LADIES! HERE I AM! ALLAH’S GIFT TO YOU!’. Because he was just on the other side of the windshield from me I could barely keep a straight face all day. Especially with Mark sitting next to me pointing out whenever ol’ Rooster was bending over or flexing extra hard for my benefit. 

 
After wrap we went to Carre Four, a local shopping mall that has a large grocery store inside. All needed to stock up on food, etc. While having dinner at a café I noticed an Arab woman discreetly breastfeeding off to the side. Being equally discreet, I quietly leaned over and whispered to Mark, “Interesting. I’m surprised they breastfeed in public here.”. Mark being Mark gives me a perplexed look, thinks for a second and then whispers REALLY LOUDLY, “They breastfeed puppies here?!”. I nearly died. My head hit the table and I couldn’t catch my breath from the fit of laughter that I was overcome with. Because half the table had heard him (and no doubt half of the café) our table became an instant spectacle of 4 moronic Americans sitting there laughing so hard we were crying, yet trying to remain controlled –and failing miserably. As soon as I was able to speak, I very clearly (yet still very discreetly) hissed at him, “IN PUBLIC! PUBLIC YOU GENIUS. They breastfeed in PUBLIC! NOT PUPPIES!” Evidentially it had not occurred to Mark that this was actually what I meant because he immediately furthered the spectacle with another bought of hysterical laughter. So there I sit, next to the ever composed Neil (whose composure was cracking bit by bit) across from the never composed Mark who is crying he’s laughing so hard and Jeff who (at 6’4 and 224lbs of muscle) couldn’t be quiet or inconspicuous if he was sedated and forced into the witness protection program. They may never let us back into Carre Four again. This is probably the best for all involved.

Me especially.

Monday, September 24th

Today we:

-Watched as Abbas (aka Bullhorn Bin Laden ) came completely undone on the Arab crew. Not sure what happened but they arrived an hour and a half late to set with ALL of the equipment and trailers.  I have him on video screaming face to face with about 10 guys- but through his bullhorn.

-While Abbas was screaming through his megaphone we decided what the REAL translation of what he was saying was. It involves Allah, camels and virgins.

-'Rescued' a little black goat from a mud hole by the sea. 6 times from 4 different angles. I wanted to take the goat back to my hotel but they wouldn't let me. I also wanted to name the goat Yuri and get him a brother named Abbas.

-Threw buckets of water on each other while 'washing' our cars

-Laughed and chased each other around in the mud

-Laughed even harder when Jeff (a former Atlanta Falcon) went after Mark and tackled him in the water...they both ended up face first in the sand and salt water

-Nearly got into a car accident when on the way to set at 4:30 in the morning our driver (Mohammed) almost rear-ended an 18 wheeler on the highway. I was asleep when I felt and heard the brakes lock up. I had a death grip on Mark and we skidded forever until we stopped- just BARELY tapping corners with the giant truck. I thought Natasha (our assistant) was going to kill Mohammed -who felt terrible about the whole thing. Normally he's a very good driver. For an Egyptian.

-Decided that dozing off by the pool without Mark, Jeff or Neil in my immediate company is a mistake. I awakened to 5 of the male hotel employees hovering a few feet from my lounge chair.  The second I opened my eyes they 'suddenly' became very busy  folding towels, etc. Gawd. I swear they are all 14 years old hormonally around here. Most are harmless. The ones that aren't are already afraid of me. Maybe it's because they think that I have 5 husbands (Chris- The "Amedikan Husband Who Comes Here Soon", Mark "Husband Here Now", Jeff  "Veddy Large Big Husband", Neil "Husband with Hat", Jenya "Veddy Tall Husband"). Of course the one they are most afraid of is probably Kathleen -and for good reason ;)

 Okay. off to bed. I'm worn out.

Miss you all!

Sunday, September 23rd

Ew. Ew. Ew.

I may never eat stuffed grape leaves again. And I LOVE stuffed grape leaves. But unfortunately stuffed grape leaves resemble what giant locusts look like after they've been dipped in axle grease and then hurled at the windshield of a Landrover.

And you thought acting was supposed to be a glamorous career.

Today it was way short on glamor and way long on sweat, sand and locusts for Mark and I. Yuri's plan is to CGI a locust swarm on our vehicles, so what we shot was our reactions to it from the vehicle's interior. The beginning few locusts splattering the windshield were needed in the shot just prior to the CGI effects shot. And splatter they did with help from four Egyptians carrying buckets full of greased locusts.

And now I can no longer eat stuffed grape leaves. Or anything else right now for that matter.

(shown in the picture is Nina and a handful of greasy 'yummy' locusts. Excuse me. I need to vomit.)

Saturday, September 22

Mark and I were called in an hour after Jeff, Kathleen and Neil this morning. We knew our drive would be an hour and a half to set and back but we weren't prepared for the beautiful view that we would have of oases, farms and hillsides.

Upon arrival we had some downtime as the others were out shooting. Soon, however, Mark and I were up and it was time for work. It quickly became apparent that Yuri was on a rant and was ready to strangle some crew members. Fortunately I don't understand Russian spoken at a scream, so when the yelling was directed at me I literally tuned them all out and ignored it all. The moment I got into the jeep, Mark being the sweet, wonderful savior that he is, grabs my arm and says very firmly, "LOOK AT ME. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. IT'S VERY TENSE IN HERE."  At that moment "tense" was an understatement. Besides Mark in the driver's seat and me next to him, there were no fewer than 30 crew people speaking 3 different languages (English, Russian, Arabic) around the outside of the jeep. Andre (our DP) in the very back with the camera rig was sitting next to Yuri who was screaming, red faced, and more angry, wild haired and pissed off than I've ever seen him.

It is a miracle I didn't strangle him right then.

Fortunately Mark and I both remembered to bring along our sense of humor to Cairo. It is serving us well in times such as this. I just wish I had remembered to pack my taser. I may feel inclined to use it on Yuri at some point.

7 minutes after we began rolling we were wrapped for the day. Seriously. And no, it wasn't because we were fired. It is evidentially because we are that brilliant. Yuri got what he wanted in 2 seperate shots, the first time each time and we were done.

This is also nothing short of a miracle.

He didn't scream at anyone once during those 7 minutes or the 10 minutes afterwards driving back to basecamp.

This counts as the third miracle.

Ah, the Yuri Show. It's never a dull moment.

===============================================================================

Tonight Jenya, Neil, Jeff, Mark, Nina (who is our wonderful Russian script supervisor) and myself went to eat at a restaurant around the corner called 'Mom'. It's THE most wonderful Egyptian/Mediterranean food ever. Just an amazing little family owned place where you sit on cushions in a field. We're trying to convince them to let us each open a franchise where we all live: Moscow, Los Angeles, New Orleans and New York. It would be an instant hit because the food is that amazing.

Friday, September 21st

I'm beginning to think Yuri may actually be truly, completely out of his mind. Crazy in an unpredictable, wacky, "I can't believe he just said/did that!" sort of way. I feel like I'm in an episode of a new variety show called "Russians Say The Darndest Things!". Except for it's not hosted by a warm and fuzzy African American Comedian. This show is hosted by a tall thin Russian with a shaved head who speaks English with a British accent. And his name is Jenya. And there is only one Russian saying 'the darndest things' -Yuri.

Because it is Friday -and especially because it is during Ramadan- the Egyptians and Arab crew members will not be working. Therefore, neither will we.

Today we met with Yuri in the AM for rehearsals and translation re-writes. Then it was just some pool time, wardrobe fittings for some, naps for a few, mummy's tummy issues for others (the caterers we think made some of us sick). After dinner it was finally time for the evening's edition of "The Yuri Show"....

During this particular episode we were informed that 50 Arab children and their parents would be there for the village scene in which all of us doctors are vaccinating children. Here's how the conversation went (through Jenya, our translator):

Thursday, Sept 20th

Today I....

-kissed a camel named Whiskey Soda who according to his owner Saied "Loves Amedican girls     veddy veddy much!"

-rode shotgun in our Landrover while Mark drove us through a minefield in the Sahara Desert (okay, a movie minefield!)

-saw a ram butchered for Ramadan

-discovered the loudest, craziest Egyptian man in the entire known world (he's our Egyptian crew coordinator)

-saw 3 pyramids, 100 goats and no fewer than 25 people riding donkeys with no bridles and giant stacks of grass balanced on their backs through the outskirts of Cairo

-witnessed oxen running loose in the streets and saw another one dead floating belly up in a canal next to the town

-had a Come-to-Jesus meeting with wardrobe via our translator because i refuse to wear pants that make me look like I have larger thighs and a 'back porch' (thank you Mark) than God has already given me

-discovered that O.S.H.A. doesn't exist in Egypt when we saw a movie-mine go off and 5 Egyptians went with it (they were fine and yes, it was FUNNY)

-decided that there is no Teamsters Union in Russia (for many, many, many reasons)

Wednesday, September 19

 Another 'hard' day :) After a day of working out, hanging at the pool, reading and taking a nap at the hotel, we were all ready for Mark to return from set so we could hear how his day went. When he did we headed out to eat at the local neighborhood CHILI'S!!! Yes, there is indeed a Chili's right down the road and it is EXACTLY like the ones in the US. Weird. The food was the same except (much to our disappointment) they don't serve alcohol.

I'm headed to bed now because I get to work tomorrow! Yay!

Miss you all!

Tuesday, Sept 18

I WANT A CAMEL OF MY VERY OWN!!!

After some very hard work reading and relaxing by the pool we all met with Yuri for rehearsals and scene revisions. Then it was off to the Giza Pyramids and Camel riding! Yay! I am officially obsessed with Camels so this was on the top of my list of things to do here in Egypt. Our drivers picked us up and off we went through the... *ahem*... 'interesting and culturally diverse' streets of Cairo. Ali, one of our drivers arranged for our camel ride, and moments later we were greeted with a HERD of camels, saddled and ready to go. After much squeeling and jumping up and down on my part, up I went onto my camel. Mark was up behind me, and so his camel and I became good friends as I scratched and petted his head and babbled like a moron about "Such a sweet, pretty cammuuuullll!!! Awwww....beauteous eyelashes on this beauteous camuuuuulllll..." I'm quite sure that everyone went from being amused to rolling their eyes to wanting me to put a sock in it. We rode through the streets first on our way to the pyramids, making our way through groups of people, children, loose horses, people on donkeys riding bareback with no halter or bridle, cars, vans, horse carts, food and tea carts, and even more horses and camels standing by the roadside.

Because there were 7 of us in our group (2 Russians and 5 Americans), our guide assumed we were married couples.  We all just sort of went along with it, as it's easier (and no doubt safer for the women) to just agree, look at each other, laugh and shrug. After a trek through town we made our way up into the desert with a view of the pyramids as the sun went down behind them. The sheer enormity of these structures is breathtaking. Hard to imagine that they are thousands of years old.

As we rode through the desert I kept thinking about the history of the area, and how many  people and historical figures had traveled the sand in which we riding on. This is such an ancient place. It is a blessing to be here experiencing this.

PS- OUR CAMERAS HAVE BEEN RELEASED FROM CUSTOMS!!! Shooting starts tomorrow with Mark and the Russian actors. I have another hard day at the pool. sigh.....

Monday, September 17th

A day full of wardrobe fittings has begun. As I type this I’m waiting to be retrieved for the 3^rd time from my room for another round of fittings. I’m unsure as to the issue exactly, but I’ll sum it up with the saying, “Opinions are like ……. Everyone has one and all of them stink.” I’m gonna take a nap. They can wake me when I need to change for the 45^th time.

With wardrobe finally over we all agreed to head to the pool. There we stayed for another 3 hours napping, reading, laughing and trying desperately not to be outwardly amused at the choices in European Men's swimwear that  surrounded us -they leave little to the imagination.  As much as I want to share the jokes here I'll leave that to your imagination too.

After such a 'difficult' day (haha) we decided to venture out to a little outdoor cafe around the corner from our hotel called 'Mom'. We sat on the ground on top of rugs and cushions eating tapas for 3 hours. Wonderful. On the trip back to the hotel we passed a mosque, and noticed the parking was 3 cars deep on the street outside! It was insane. I will never again complain about the parking in LA.

PS- Still no cameras.

Sunday, Sept 16th

Table reads with the American cast and Yuri. Still no cameras. I’m too jet lagged to type more…..zzzzzzzzzzz….

Saturday, Sept 15

After 20+ hours of travel I arrived in Cairo. It was much less of a zoo than I anticipated, although perhaps that was due to the several men in military uniforms stalking about with M-16 rifles. The lines were long, but moved quickly through immigration. There were plenty of English speakers which is good because my Arabic is rusty. Okay it’s non-existent. All 120 lbs of my checked luggage had also arrived safely and without tire marks, dents, or broken handles, zippers of straps, which is remarkable since on most domestic flights I usually end up with at least one bag that appears to have been run over a few times by a truck. Customs gave me no grief about the 4 boxes of protein bars, 100 packets of Splenda, 100 packets of non-dairy creamer, a box of Emergen-C packets, 3 boxes of Airborne, 2 bottles of Immodium and 20 lbs of hair products and other misc items that I schlepped over from the US. I think they were just amused that I was able to handle all of my luggage myself.

After navigating through the throngs of people, the countless taxi drivers and relentless men who were eager to ‘help’ me (good thing I’m bigger than most of them because they’re persistent little buggers) Natasha (one of our assistants) found me. Nearby were Jenya (our Russian translator), and Mark (Mark Adam, the actor playing my husband in the film) both of whom I was very happy to see because the presence of a man tends to ward off advances of other men…at least in theory. Off we went to a waiting van for a 45 minute ride from the airport to the hotel. During this 45 minute ride my life flashed before my eyes no less than 100 times. I am not kidding. For those of you who have not experienced the insanity that is driving in Egypt it is not unlike the bumper car ride at a cheap, local carnival set up in the parking lot of any random city –except this bumper car ride involves lots of horn honking, is performed at high speeds and peppered with shouting in Arabic. Driving within the lanes is purely a suggestion, as is going the correct way with the flow of traffic. Frequently we were treated to a white-knuckled ride down the ‘wrong way’ of a busy road into oncoming traffic. Recalling this now reminds me that I also have a few more new gray hairs to cover.

Our hotel is lovely and evidentially very safe. I know this because after driving through the security gate at the front entrance of our hotel I witnessed guards checking under all of the vehicles with mirrors. I tried not to faint as I realized exactly what this meant while I was being escorted through metal detectors in order to gain entrance into the lobby (as I type this I’m imagining both my Grandmother and my Father fainting as they read this. If they have, someone, please revive them?).

My room is awesome, but my favorite part of our hotel is definitely the pool area.  The landscaping is so beautiful and the pool itself is enormous. The grounds are just gorgeous overall. We’ve made good use of that area already.

Shortly after checking in, the cast met with Yuri, our director. He is just the same as in April. Intense with a flair for drama and more assistants than Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs (or whatever the hell he calls himself nowadays). He informed us that because the cameras had been confiscated in customs (WHAT?!) that our shooting schedule may be delayed by a day or two. Evidentially there was a mix-up on how to claim this equipment in customs. Interestingly enough, the machine guns that the props department brought over from Russian made it through with no problem. Ah, Egypt!

After dinner we decided to take taxis to the local shopping mall. Another white knuckle ride provided by Mahmud, our toothy (as in one toothed), laughing, gesturing driver who seemed to genuinely enjoy scaring the hell out of his passengers. The shopping center in Cairo is remarkably Western. Feels no different really than a regular, small, older mall. Aside from the fact that we were stared at (insert joke here) it felt pretty normal. –Except for when we went to pay and I realized that I had just spent $11 instead of the $60 that I would have in the US. Niiiiiice.

Sept 13-14th

On my flights from LAX to DFW to Zurich to Cairo I slept some, ate too much (gotta love those Business/First Class meals!) and read one of the 8 books I brought along with me, watched 2 episodes of The Office (The Fire, The Fight). Upon arrival in Zurich I marveled at how beautiful Switzerland is. And then I promptly got distracted by a Swatch Watch kiosk and decided that because I am in Switzerland I must have one since it has been since the 4^th grade that I have enjoyed the novelty and remarkable durability of a Swatch Watch. It has a leather band and a blue face. What’s even better is that I bought it in Switzerland.

Thursday, Sept 13.

Saying Goodbye

I hugged my big sad dog goodbye this morning. He’s known for about a week that someone was going somewhere. Every time he sees us get a suitcase out he starts to worry. Suitcases (or any bag that rolls) means mom or dad (or both) are going away. He associates the rolling of a laptop bag to mean that Chris is going to work. -That’s okay though because at 6:30pm dad is normally about to walk in the door from a day at the office. However, anytime after 6:30 Angus starts to bug me with his “Where’s Dad?” routine which consists of lumbering out to the gate to listen for Chris’s car, lumbering back inside to grin and snuffle at me, then dragging out his favorite toys, parading them about, etc. This continues until he hears Chris’s car at which point he parades out with a toy, a grin and a wagging tail to welcome him home with. When it comes to me taking out a bag with wheels, he knows it means I’m going away somewhere. And so he mopes and looks forlorn as he brings me all of his favorite toys as offerings in the hopes that with enough bribes, perhaps I will reconsider. Although this routine is heartbreaking, I know it means I’m loved dearly by this big, lumbering, sweet and silly oaf of a dog

Shortly after saying goodbye to Angus I said goodbye to Chris. The husband was less mopey and forlorn than the dog, although saying goodbye at the airport was no less heartbreaking. Hugging and kissing him goodbye I am reminded of all of the wonderful reasons why I love him so much and will miss him so terribly. I hope that he gets to come see me during my stay in Egypt. It’s harder to enjoy an adventure when the person you love most isn’t there to share it with you.